For individuals who are about to take the plunge.
Cream and sugar with that?
Horses expenses are good expenses.
It’s the little things in life, right? The little things that give us the most pleasure … or remind us that we’re totally, completely insane.
This one goes out to all the equestrians who have the uncanny ability to hone in on a single horse word uttered in conversation at loud parties, busy restaurants, the airport …
(Other than trying to fit two giant animals and myself into one selfie frame.) As it turns out, actually enjoying time in their presence makes up maybe 5% of the total time I spend on these boofheads.
Get your box of tissues and prepare to ugly-cry, because there are certain things that just hit you right in the feels.
Because flatulence is always hilarious.
Early in 2015, when this collection was first published, the latest internet sensation was Archy the farting horse. Archy was a rescue with intestinal issues, hence the need to roll and fart. Let’s take a look.
But Archy is hardly the first equine full of hot air. There’s the classic ringside passing of gas.
Communal Zen Flatulence.
Will fart for Bud Light?
And, last but not least, the dreaded Toot ‘n Spook.
Does your horse let one rip now and then? HN wants those funny videos!
Horses and people: we’re more alike than we think.
After 18 years working in the restaurant business, I have learned that horses are a lot like people when it comes to eating. Most of them are a pleasure to serve, but there are a few that give me the opportunity to write lists like this. (Note: this is a tongue-in-cheek list — best enjoyed with a lighthearted sense of humor.)
1. Horses that are normally really nice can turn into monsters if they’re hungry enough.
2. Some horses are picky eaters. No matter what you put in front of them, they’ll still turn their nose up.
3. You can see someone’s true colors by how patient they are while waiting to be fed.
4. Some horses have really expensive taste, others prefer to eat crap.
5. How well they treat the person who feeds them is a reflection on how well they were raised.
6. Some horses will act like your best friend, until they get what they need. Then they don’t want to be bothered.
7. Everyone nowadays seems to be on a fancy diet.
8. Horses love to interrupt you when you’re serving someone else.
9. Young horses love to make a mess while eating. So do old horses.
10. Some horses inhale their food, while some take all day to finish.