Kristen Kovatch

Best of Craigslist, Volume 44

In today’s edition: a serious price drop, a mare with her own rulebook and a work-wanted ad like none other.

Best of Craigslist (and Facebook, and equine advertising sites … we don’t discriminate) is a constant treasure trove of the fascinating, the bizarre and the tragically misspelled. We gather the best that the internet has to offer and package it up in one neat post for your reading enjoyment.

We’ll kick things off with this ad from Halle: “I honestly can’t decide if this one’s a joke or not … ”

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist


 

We can’t tell either. What we do know, however, is that this is one serious price drop — grab that bargain while it’s hot, people! From Jill:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


 

We do love ads with plenty of description, as well as an illustrative photo that shows us conformation. Like, you know, this one, from Halle:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist


 

Hey, this seller’s being plenty honest! From Jill:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


 

This list of rules is pretty hysterical, but at the end of the day we have to admit that Princess Cam sounds like our kind of girl, and we hope she finds a good home. From Sara:

Screen shot via Craigslist

Screen shot via Craigslist

Cam is a 16hh, 10 year old Standardbred that is moody, has a flair for the dramatics and hates the term “Primadonna” as she prefers the title of “Princess Cam”.

Rules of Royalty & Things To Know:
1. Princess Cam expects her subjects to fawn over her every move, if she rolls in the dirt she expects to hear applause at the size of her dust cloud. If she graces you with her presence, give her a treat for her to enjoy while she gazes at you in disdain. Sour Skittles and flavored Oatmeal are her favorites.

2.If she asks to be groomed she ONLY allows her black and pink bedazzled princess brush to be used on her luxurious grulla coat. When it comes to her pedicures, she is a willing subject but if a peasant dares to handle her roughly she will remind them of their status with a judicious kick of frightening speed and power. Princess Cam will also fart in the face of those who waste her time with hoof picking as she believes her royal hooves stay naturally clean.

3.Princess Cam is gifted with natural athleticism and speed. She frequently shows her god given gifts by running from one end of the pasture to the other while breaking the sound barrier. If in a jovial mood she will perform airs above ground, especially in the presence of tiny birds that fly out unexpectedly.

4. Princess Cam is a big supporter of state parks and promoting conservation. Trail rides through the various local state parks are her favorite physical activity…second to fighting crime.

If your kingdom is currently in need of a bold ruler that will quell all opposition and potential barnyard uprisings, please text 8-six-five-765-four-3-three-six.


 

So you found enlightenment and the true path — we’re all about that, and we’re happy for you! But we’re not entirely sure what it has to do with your work-wanted ad … from Mandy:

13336439_10206562754362998_1598128995_n

13336351_10206562754563003_1451210842_n

Screenshots via Facebook

Screenshots via Facebook


And we’ll close out this week with a little Facebook humor — because we know we’ve enjoyed plenty of “thoroughbreads” in Best of Craigslist before. From Jill:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.

Tuesday Video: Slow-Motion Snort

Reader Lynn Howland sends us this surprisingly entertaining slow-motion video of her horse snorting.

Says Lynn, “I accidentally took a slow-motion video — I didn’t even know I was filming! As it turns out, if you turn the sound up it turns it all into a lot of sinister growling.”

We find it interesting that this extreme slow-motion horse snort-turned-growl sounds remarkably like some movie sound effects, like, say dragon growling. Hollywood, we think we may have debunked you thanks to this reader video!

Go riding!

Only at Wal-Mart: Cowboy Ropes Bicycle Thief

We could make a case for having a cowboy on duty at every major shopping center in America, really.

Oregonian rancher Robert Borba would probably argue that he was simply in the right place at the right time … and we’d add that he also had just the right set of tools and a quick-thinking mind, as well as what every good citizen needs — a great cowhorse.

Borba happened to be at the Wal-Mart in Eagle Point, Oregon last week to pick up dog food (with his rope horse in the trailer) when he heard someone shout that her bike was being stolen and for someone to stop the thief. When Borba realized this would-be thief was going to get away, he did what any good cowboy would do when a rebel breaks from the herd — grabbed his rope horse off the trailer and got to work.

Borba was able to throw a nice heel catch on the bicycle bandit and bring him to the ground, where he was able to hold him until law enforcement arrived.

This video via NBC News catches up with Borba in person:

We tip our hats to you here at Horse Nation, Robert Borba. The world needs more cowboys like you!

Go cowboys and go riding!