#BEST OF CRAIGSLIST

Best of Craigslist, Volume 44

In today’s edition: a serious price drop, a mare with her own rulebook and a work-wanted ad like none other.

Best of Craigslist (and Facebook, and equine advertising sites … we don’t discriminate) is a constant treasure trove of the fascinating, the bizarre and the tragically misspelled. We gather the best that the internet has to offer and package it up in one neat post for your reading enjoyment.

We’ll kick things off with this ad from Halle: “I honestly can’t decide if this one’s a joke or not … ”

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist


 

We can’t tell either. What we do know, however, is that this is one serious price drop — grab that bargain while it’s hot, people! From Jill:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


 

We do love ads with plenty of description, as well as an illustrative photo that shows us conformation. Like, you know, this one, from Halle:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist


 

Hey, this seller’s being plenty honest! From Jill:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


 

This list of rules is pretty hysterical, but at the end of the day we have to admit that Princess Cam sounds like our kind of girl, and we hope she finds a good home. From Sara:

Screen shot via Craigslist

Screen shot via Craigslist

Cam is a 16hh, 10 year old Standardbred that is moody, has a flair for the dramatics and hates the term “Primadonna” as she prefers the title of “Princess Cam”.

Rules of Royalty & Things To Know:
1. Princess Cam expects her subjects to fawn over her every move, if she rolls in the dirt she expects to hear applause at the size of her dust cloud. If she graces you with her presence, give her a treat for her to enjoy while she gazes at you in disdain. Sour Skittles and flavored Oatmeal are her favorites.

2.If she asks to be groomed she ONLY allows her black and pink bedazzled princess brush to be used on her luxurious grulla coat. When it comes to her pedicures, she is a willing subject but if a peasant dares to handle her roughly she will remind them of their status with a judicious kick of frightening speed and power. Princess Cam will also fart in the face of those who waste her time with hoof picking as she believes her royal hooves stay naturally clean.

3.Princess Cam is gifted with natural athleticism and speed. She frequently shows her god given gifts by running from one end of the pasture to the other while breaking the sound barrier. If in a jovial mood she will perform airs above ground, especially in the presence of tiny birds that fly out unexpectedly.

4. Princess Cam is a big supporter of state parks and promoting conservation. Trail rides through the various local state parks are her favorite physical activity…second to fighting crime.

If your kingdom is currently in need of a bold ruler that will quell all opposition and potential barnyard uprisings, please text 8-six-five-765-four-3-three-six.


 

So you found enlightenment and the true path — we’re all about that, and we’re happy for you! But we’re not entirely sure what it has to do with your work-wanted ad … from Mandy:

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Screenshots via Facebook

Screenshots via Facebook


And we’ll close out this week with a little Facebook humor — because we know we’ve enjoyed plenty of “thoroughbreads” in Best of Craigslist before. From Jill:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.

Best of Craigslist, Volume 43

Can you believe our ‘Best of Craigslist’ series has seen forty-three installments? Neither can we.

Love it or hate it, Craigslist is clearly here to stay — and as long as there is Craigslist, there will be plenty of ads that leave you scratching your head, laughing out loud or maybe even picking up the phone to schedule a time to come buy an equine that pulled at your heartstrings. Here’s to hope!

We’ll kick things off with a couple of ads that are getting a little sideways (coincidentally, they’re both “registrard” horses as well!) Both are submitted by Christina: “You can rotate images, you know … ”

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

12 year old geilding 15’3 hands registrard American paint horse he saddles and bridles easy comes when called he is gental mostly dose trail rides but has been in some parades he is good for farrier and he also dose good with or with out shoes no health concerns great theeth and good with other animals he would make a great 4h horse 2,500


 

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist


 

To their credit, they’re not bad-looking horses if you turn your head. We also agree that this guy is a total stunner — although we do have to laugh with Christina here as well: “I’m assuming it’s an older photo of this gelding as a young’un, but it still kind of cracked me up a little!”

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

14 year old Beautiful Registered (1/2) Friesian Sport Horse Gelding. Stands around 15.2hh. Not for beginners, just his presents scares most beginners and I do not want him ruined by one either. UTD on hoof care and shots. Teeth done and Vet check last month. This one can take you to the winners circle. Very flashy Dominate White 1/2 Friesian (reg.) 1/2 American White (Morgan) he has feathers too. And blue eyes. Very in your pocket, great ground manners, bathes and fly spray. Nice hard hoofs, Loads and hauls good. He has been shown, trained to pull a cart at age 3. Used for CMO’s Last year. Shown in 4-h, Trained in Dressage some years back. I am now using him for Cowboy Dressage He is awesome, sweet and willing to please, with just the right amount of Flash 🙂 He rides bitless or with a bit. English, or western. I will not sell him to just anyone. He needs the right person. E-mail (calls are better as e-mails do not always make it through) or call 509 six 90 eight 457 I have lots of pictures on line. This horse is AWESOME! He has been trained with Natural Horseman methods. He does know his ground work and is a good willing boy. $6000.00 and a good home is a must. May consider trade for motorcycle, classic car, hunting equipment, gold, ?? I will not trade for another horse unless it is an awesome kick butt gaited and reg. trained gelding. And my boy is all that and more. (because of my back, hip and age I had to go gaited and this is the only reason he is for sale…Buy back contract required, home inspection required. This is a really special boy. Don’t miss out!


 

If this one ISN’T a scam, we’re shocked. Submitted by Donna:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

Front Dressing Room with cabinets. great condition

Good Condition very well maintained

Front-line full-range projection Yj5v116o8u7


 

We’ll give credit to this seller who went the “professional endorsement route.” Submitted by Karly:

Screenshot via Craiglist

Screenshot via Craiglist

Wonderful quarter horse 8 years old, well trained, not by me. She is an amazing horse. 2 differrent farriers say so.


 

Yikes … we know ponies have the strength of a hundred men when necessary, but is riding this little guy really necessary? From Kendra:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

This pony is very gentle and rides, it does very well around kids. still a stud but the most gentle stud you’ve ever seen call or text only
show contact info
$ 650 firm….. no kick and no bite. Beautiful pony and built like a little quarter horse and its healthy.


 

Well, at least the seller is telling it like it is. Submitted by Kaylene:

image1-19 copy

Screenshots via Facebook

Screenshots via Facebook


We’ll wrap things up with this total head-scratcher. We have so many questions: where was this zebra acquired? Is it really necessary to keep it a stud? WHY? From Jill:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.

Best of Craigslist: Who Are You? Edition

When the text and the photos just don’t match, it’s awfully hard to know who you’re looking at. Welcome to ‘Best of Craigslist.’

It doesn’t matter if you’re looking at Craigslist, Facebook or one of the myriad of horse sale websites that exist out there: there are plenty of ads out there that just don’t add up. Here’s a sampling of these and many more bad ads from all corners of the horsey internet, sent in by readers!

We’ll kick things off with this Craigslist gem, submitted by Erika: there are said to be two ponies for sale. The other one is invisible.

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

I have two ponies for sale.
The price for both of them is $1000.


 

I believed you that the saddle was in fact for a horse. Sometimes, it’s just better to show it on a rack than on an actual animal. Submitted by Lisa:

Screen shot via Craigslist

Screen shot via Craigslist

Custom made saddle from England
Mfg: Black Country
Style: Frelsi
Size: 18W
This saddle is like Brand New! It has only been used 3 times.
No stratches, no wear and tear!
Paid $3,100
$2,400 Firm


 

Something is not right here. Submitted by Danielle:

Screenshot via Horseclicks

Screenshot via Horseclicks

Extremely sweet white Arabian mare. Vaccines up to date, teeth checked dewormed, new shoes. No papers. Green broke. Clips, ties, trailers stands for ferrier, very sweet and calm temperament. doesnt bite/ kick will make perfect project and trail horse. If you are interested in having her bred to my prize Grullo Morgan stallion to get a Morab foal than that can be worked into the sale for half the stud fee..


I’ve decided that Craigslist-ese is really its own language. Have fun interpreting this one, submitted by Courtney:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

I have two year old frazion Cross he will ride work single or double I will show asking 2800 cash only


 

The same could be said for this ad: please translate. Submitted by Sherrie:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

Pony horse for sale. 1 year and ahalf old. Tammed great with kids. No bites nor agressive behavior. Can ride with or without seat. Loves to be hugged. Female a year and ahalf old. Text or call is ok. English/spanish. Chris.


 

Honorable mention — not a real horse, yet it still follows our theme of photos and text that just doesn’t match. Submitted by Lynn: “I don’t even know where to start. First, not a palomino, but then look at its eyes … I might have nightmares”

Screenshot via Overstock

Screenshot via Overstock

Screenshot via Overstock

Screenshot via Overstock


 

The “Evil Craigslist Pony” trope claims another victim — submitted by Carrie:

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12985553_10153360289792721_8076530696541085337_n

Screenshots via Craigslist

Screenshots via Craigslist


 

Believe it or not, most computers do allow you to rotate photos. Submitted by Brett:

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Screenshot via Horseclicks


 

You know what they say: sun’s out …. never mind. We’ll just file this under “wildly inappropriate riding apparel.” Submitted by Brittany:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


We’ll close out this week’s collection with this masterpiece. Click the photos below the ad to open the gallery. Submitted by Hannah: “There was not actually any info on the photos, as stated in the ad … just pictures and no information.”

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.

Best of Craigslist: Special Grammar Quiz Edition

Sure, we all love to poke fun at ridiculous ads and wonky grammar, but can we put our money where our mouth is and pass a horse-sales grammar quiz?

Our popular “Best of Craigslist” series curates your submissions from Craigslist, Facebook and other equine sales sites: we all get a laugh out of ridiculous sales photos, outrageous descriptions and of course the ever-lurking creative spelling and eye-rolling grammar (and every once in a while, we are able to facilitate a Craigslist success story too).

Lest we be accused of dishing it out but unable to take it, we’ve created this little Best of Craigslist Grammar Quiz: can you fill in the blank with the correct word?

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.

Best of Craigslist: Believe It Or Not Edition

Hey, you don’t need us to convince you that these ads are real — we’re way too familiar with the magic of Craigslist at this point.

Craigslist shows us the power of make-believe: you can either believe that these ads are for real, or you can imagine that someone’s just trying to play a very elaborate joke. (Or, you know, maybe they really, really can’t spell.)

We’re going to kick things off with this little gem, submitted by Grace:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

Born in 2000. He is a paint pinto double registered. He was born on the farm I’ve had him his whole life. His name is Taz. I just don’t have time to ride him anymore. This horse is like a dog. He is the best horse around. Kid friendly anything you want this horse will do. I won’t take a penny less for him cuz he is so awesome.


 

Erika brings up a valid question: “Couldn’t get just a bit closer for this picture??”

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist


 

We agree with Caroline: these sellers are a bit confused — this is not a horse, nor is it a bridle …

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

This sale is for a high quality saddle that looks new. It is for a medium size horse, it comes with no reigns, straps bits, etc, Only what is shown on the included photos, Call


 

The horse in this ad actually sounds like a nice girl (click to open a new window with the full ad). The headline, on the other hand … submitted by Danielle:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist


 

This mysterious pony/horse in the mist defies comprehension, submitted by Laurel:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

Half horse half pony, she hasn’t been ridden in a few year’s, beautiful horse, 800obo call or text for more info


 

This next ad is actually totally legit, but we thought we’d throw it in just because the form of payment is pretty funny and at this point we need a little comic relief. Submitted by Kristin:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

NOW IS THE TIME TO GET READY FOR SPRING

A great pile of aged horse manure is now available. a combination of horse manure and sawdust…..brought to you courtesy of Prince and B
Has been sitting under a tarp for the past 2 years…warm and full of worms. Come and get it.
The horses would like you to bring either a bag of CARROTS or a bag of apples to pay for their services………………. in one end, out the other!


 

We need someone to buy this horse just to save him from some bad tacking-up skills. Submitted by Martha:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook

Let’s see that a little closer …

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


 

No price set on this guy, just looking to see what kind of offers are about to come pouring in. We’ll get right on that. Submitted by Kit:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


We’ll leave you today with this mystery: what is Kid Rock doing schooling this horse shirtless while wearing a fedora? (No, it’s not actually Kid Rock … at least, we don’t think it is.) Why are the stirrups so short? Why is there a $22,000 “adoption fee?” Submitted by Carrie:

Screenshot via Equine.com

Screenshot via Equine.com

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.

Best of Craigslist: Just Being Honest Edition

“Honesty is the best policy.” Usually.

Whether you’re a buyer or seller, everyone appreciates honesty and plain dealing when it comes to advertising a horse for sale. Much better to be straightforward and put all information out in the open … but sometimes, especially when you’re trawling Craigslist, that honesty can be a little overwhelming.

Let’s just dive right in with this honest-to-goodness ad submitted by Stephanie: “Good luck to the trainer!”

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


This ad is perhaps a little less forthcoming, but still begs a good question from Morgan: “You have to thin out your herd so you bred 5 broodmares?”

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

Reg Quarter horses for sale. I have 9 quarter horses and need to thin the herd. We have an 18 month old palomino filly 750$, an 8 yr old palomino mare that is a good trail horse 1250$, a 7 yr old dunalino stallion, and 5 broodmares all bred for next yr.
These are all foundation bred King, Poco Bueno, and Mr San Peppy horses.
I will trade for anything of value except other horses. I can text pics


 

That’s not what that word means … and yet, it oddly works. Submitted by Julie: “I like their creative use of the word ‘user’.”

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


Another honest ad which reveals this pony’s true charming self. (And unique breed — the rare and highly-coveted Welch Mounting pony.) Submitted by Morgan:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

Pistol, is a Welch Mounting Pony! He is not for a beginner! He is 15 yrs old and about 13-14 hands high! He rides best with another horse. When riding by himself he will argue with you (he will rear, and side step) also his rearing is a trick but he knows his que to do it but he does do it on his own at times because you make him act right. he could go English or Barrels I’ve showed him both before. He’s great with other horses and easy keeper. Trade for a buckskin about 15 hands and around 10 years old that’s broke and has potential for roping. TRADE ONLY for a buckskin or palomino with potential to be a reining or roping horse
Prefer Text


 

When quality doesn’t work, go for quantity instead! Submitted by Rachel:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist


 

A bird in the hand is … no, actually, there’s no way to interpret this one, submitted by Anna: “I think she means martingale … but it’s still a breastcollar.”

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


 

Nope, it’s not Photoshop. Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. From Fiona:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

Beauty is a 8 year old Appaloosa/Paint Cross. She has been started with a great foundation and has been used in a lesson program, camp program and as a trail horse.. She is very elegant and smart! Great Trail riding horse, a “point and go” horse, she will go through, on, over, across or under anything! She will go all day long, very willing and responsive She will ride out by herself or with a group, gets along with other horses. No buck, rear or kick. Sound, safe and sane, she loves to please and is very friendly! First one to the fence! Really nice mare. She is easy to work with and a lot of fun, she has a great disposition and has natural curiosity. Been hauled to fun shows and does great. Great horse for a teenager. $2000


 

And we’ll close out with the ultimate honest ad, submitted by Maria. The original language was pretty far off the NSFW spectrum, but we think the censorship may make it funnier. Overall, this is actually a success story — these animals were rescued from a kill sale, and the rescue responsible is networking to find them a more suitable mule-knowledgeable home to ensure that they remain in good hands. To open up the rescue’s Facebook page in a new window, click the ad.

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Screenshots via Facebook

Screenshots via Facebook

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected] Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.

Best of Craiglist: Close Enough Edition

The “auto-correct made me do it” excuse might be valid for some of these … but other sellers definitely went with the “eh, close enough” option when it comes to wording, spelling and grammar.

Yeah, yeah, we get it — auto-correct can make you (accidentally) say some very silly things. But some of these ads are unintentionally hilarious due to plain ol’ bad grammar, poor wording and garden-variety typos. Hang on to your hats; it’s time for “Best of Craigslist!”

We’ll kick things off with an ad full of all sorts of creative spelling (and hey, it ain’t this seller’s first rodeo, so no lowball offers please). From Teagan:

Via Craiglist

Screenshot via Craigslist

Have a App/thuribread Gelden for sale. Very Gentle and love Attention. 20 years old bit acts like hes still a baby. 16.5 tall. Good ground n ez to ride. Looking to find someone who has a playmate for him. Loves to go for walks n enjoy the sites..Also was a jumping horse..
Asking $650 . Lookimg for some who has horses or another horse to keep.him company. Need to sell asap..
It ant my first Rodeo so please no lowballers..


 

We’re not sure what’s worse, the grammar in this ad or the photography that makes this look like the highest croup we’ve ever seen. From Tiffani:

Via Facebook

Via Facebook


 

Here’s a pretty classic auto-correct fail that has us giggling, from Julie:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


 

Aw, little blue roan, I feel you — I stand tired all day too. Grownin is hard work. From Jill:

Via Facebook.

Screenshot via Facebook.


 

Not shown in this screenshot: the type of saddle, which is listed as “english bareback.” From Jennifer:

Screenshot via Ebay

Screenshot via Ebay

Little Joes P/Adilly brown leather saddle
Measures 19″ from seat to front
Width span approx 37″
Leather could use some reconditioning
Strrups state rust free
Im out of my realm here any questions please ask Ill try to answer
Buying as shown as you view it as for decoration for use for parts?


 

From Julie: “the ad’s not terrible, but why is the mini posing in front of the pool?” Hey, maybe she likes to take in the sun by the poolside. Or perhaps go for a swim. Who knows.

facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


And we’ll close out this week with this trifecta: bad grammar, bad spelling and overall just a bad, bad ad. From Lorraine: “I love that the meme is ‘here’s to all of us who can’t imagine out life without horses’ and it’s an ad for dumping your horse with a total creeper.”

Screenshot via KSL

Screenshot via KSL

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected] Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.

Best of Craigslist: Don’t Cry Edition

Best of Craigslist is back with another tear-inducing roundup of terrible ads.

Ah, Craigslist — you evoke all sorts of emotions in us. These ads remind you that when you can’t decide whether to laugh or cry, just laugh. It’s easier.

We’ll kick things off with this “calm cool a collective” horse from Kristy:

Screen Shot 2016-01-18 at 8.56.43 AM (2)

Screenshot via Craigslist

I have a Percheron horse which will be 2 March 5 2016. He is a sound horse with good training and is very smart. Temperament wise he is a very cool calm a collective kind he is a pocket horse. Easy to catch. I have broke him without a bit so to each his own. I assume with as big as they get you might have to.


 

Overall, this ad isn’t bad, and credit to the sellers who are raising money to geld the sire. But there’s a certain misspelling that raises an eyebrow and a good chuckle. From Lisa:

Screen Shot 2016-02-06 at 8.23.24 PM


 

She’s excellent over very short distances. From Joye:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

I have a Quarter mile horse for sale, 7 year old (Female), registered with “American Quarter Horse Association”, horse Comes with Certificate of Registration. She is broke to ride, but I haven’t ride her for about a year.


 

The new tactic in tack sales seems to be melodrama. From Maddie:

Screenshot via Facebook

Screenshot via Facebook


 

This horse is obviously a saint and needs to be purchased right now. Look — she goes great in a snaffle… sort of. From Maria:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Screenshot via Craigslist

I am selling my female horse, she is trained to be ridden on , she is about 5 years old. I an not sure about the breed but I was told she is a Quarter horse Asking $1,300.


 

Rounding out the collection today, we had to do some serious sleuthing to discover that this is not, in fact, a scam. Aren’t you pleased to know that this is actually a real horse and he really is standing at stud? From Lori:

Screenshot via Equine Now

Screenshot via Equine Now

Can you say Tipple Crown? This is Empire of d’Nile , He is the “PATERNAL” { same Dad} 1/2 brother to the Grand Slam Winner &, Haskell Winner, American Pharaoh.
Both sired by the amazing “Pioneer of the Nile’ who won 4 Graded stakes races in a row, Including the Santa Anita Derby.

WE all know he would have won the KY Derby but I guess they forgot that day to Mine that bird that day. Pioneer of the Nile Blood line continues to make winner after winner.

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected] Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.