Ever since Facebook started enforcing its “no sale of animals” policy last week, we’ve been sadly bereft of our equine window shopping. Maria Wachter has a few workarounds for the dedicated seller.
Facebook, you’re a buzzkill. You used to be fun. We could spend all our free time shopping (aka dreaming) about all the horses we were going to buy. It kept us busy. It kept us off the streets and out of jail. We became addicted to our daily imaginary shopping sprees. For years we’d dream about buying that Friesian/Gypsy Vanner/Dutch Warmblood/Spotted Mule that we could never afford. Sometimes we’d even send a message to the owner with no intention to buy. We didn’t even know we wanted one until we turned on our phones and got on Facebook and the horses popped up in our newsfeed.
Now, out of the blue, with no warning you cut us off cold turkey! No more animal sales allowed on Facebook. What are we going to do with our free time if we’re not window shopping on social media? Pick up a drinking problem or drug addiction, or clean the house (hopefully I’m joking) — that’s what’s going to happen if we don’t fix this issue.
With that in mind, here are six ways to cleverly market your horse while keeping Facebook clueless as to what you’re selling:
1. Halter for sale.
Well designed, one of a kind halter. Rare color, and will not cause any genetic issues if you decide to reuse halter into making another halter. Comes with all papers. Will ship for $1.50 a mile. The model sporting the halter comes with the deal. $5000 or best offer.
2. Hay bale for sale.
$2500 for this nice, organic, easy-keeping hay bale. Approximately 1200lbs, and 15.h hands tall. No known mental weeds in bale and loves kids.
3. Saddle for sale.
Saddle for sale, comes with a free horse. Saddle has some issues and would need about 90 days with a saddle maker to get the kinks worked out.
4. Set of 4 horse shoes for sale.
Size 2 horse shoes, easy to set. Good for the farrier, very polite and friendly. Full of good luck, no harm will come if you own these horse shoes. Good home only. $3500 OBO.
5. Wagon and driving harness for sale.
Complimentary drafts included. Wagon has an insatiable appetite and eats enough for two.
6. 24/7 alarm for sale.
Will wake you up at all hours. Sounds like a donkey. Neighbors will hate you. Loves to eat wood, especially your barn. Long ears included at no added charge. Free to a good home.
Anyone else have a sneaky way to market their horse? Please comment!