The Mental Toll of Seasoning a Horse

Losing is changing me as a rider and competitor. I’ve been “almost there” for too long. My horse isn’t the problem, my mindset is.

We as riders don’t talk enough about the mental side of seasoning a horse. We talk about the miles, exposure, patience, training regimen, and progress, but rarely do we discuss what happens to the rider’s mindset when they spend months, maybe years, in “seasoning mode.”

The hardest part about seasoning a horse isn’t what the horse is learning, it’s what we as riders slowly start to lose: the fire to compete at the highest level, the hunger to be at the top of the results sheet, and the belief in ourselves that we are capable of walking into an arena to actually be competitive.

It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s small disappointments here, a missed opportunity there, yet another show where you leave feeling like you are “getting better.” but still nowhere near where you want to be.

Eventually, your brain starts adjusting to the reality you keep experiencing. You stop showing up expecting to win and begin showing up hoping for a clean run or just to stay on. It begins feeling like winning and seasoning a horse have become two very far worlds apart.

Loving the horse even though I’m not loving continual losing. Photo by Mollie Himes.

The seasoning mindset becomes a safe place. Seasoning is one of the most important parts of developing a partnership and it takes time to build confidence, trust, and communication. It takes more than a few rides to understand each other. However, there is a difference between respecting the process and getting trapped in it.

Sometimes “we’re still seasoning” becomes the place we stay because it hurts less than admitting we aren’t ready to expect more from our horse or ourselves. I’ll be the first to say that expectations are scary because they mean you are vulnerable. If you believe you can win and you don’t, that loss stings differently.

So instead, you lower the pressure and tell yourself: “I’m just here for the experience,” “We’re just getting exposure,” “I’m not worried about the placings.” Maybe at first, that’s what you need, but eventually, those words become a shield, a way to protect yourself from wanting something so badly. Wanting it means you can end up disappointed.

Losing repeatedly changes your competitive brain. People underestimate how much of a competition is mental. It’s not just about your skill, how you’ve prepared, or your abilities. It’s about what you believe when you walk through the gate. A confident rider thinks: “I am prepared.” “I know what I am capable of.” A rider who has been losing for a long time starts thinking: “Don’t mess this up.” “Just make it through.” “Hopefully we don’t have another disaster performance.”

Mindset shifts everything. You stop riding toward something and start riding away from it. You are no longer chasing winning, you are avoiding another disappointment.

Sometimes nobody else can see it. You still smile, cheer for your friends, love your horse, and remain grateful.

But inside, you begin asking if this isn’t your thing anymore.

Continuing to love the horse after yet again, losing. Photo by Mollie Himes.

There is a danger of becoming comfortable with almost.  An odd place exists in your brain when you have been at the bottom for a long time. You’re improving and learning, but you aren’t getting the results you dream about.

That area messes with your head. It’s easy to convince yourself that you’re so close to being there. Almost winning, placing, having the breakthrough and becoming the competitive team you imagined.

For me, almost has been so exhausting. Especially as I watch other people who have put in less effort get the moments I have been chasing. The buckles, championships, flawless runs. The videos that prove all their hard work paid off.

I’ve started wondering if my time has passed. Not because I don’t love my horses or don’t appreciate the journey. Because I am tired. Tired of feeling like I’m always the one waiting for my turn.

My very first shoot on Sunmans Irish Pay. Drove all the way to Florida from Pennsylvania to compete in a futurity and came in dead last. Photo courtesy of Marcella Gruchalak.

We talk about seasoning horses, but riders need seasoning too. Not just learning skills. Learning resilience, how to handle disappointment without letting it redefine us, and how to walk into competition after a rough season and still believe in ourselves.

Losing can either sharpen you or slowly convince you to stop trying. It’s a real battle. The battle of whether or not you still believe you are capable. Sometimes the horse is ready before the rider is mentally. The horse is doing their job, but the rider is still stuck on the version of the team that was struggling. Riding with the hesitation from last year, expecting the mistake before it happens, waiting for something to go wrong.

Breaking out of that mindset can be harder than any training exercise.

Getting a lesson from my trainer, Ezra Yoder of No Reins Performance Horses. Photo by DeAnn Long Sloan.

The goal is not to care less. Wanting to win doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. You can love your horse deeply and still want to be competitive. You can appreciate the journey and still want the results. You can be proud of progress and still be hungry to climb to the top.

The trick is not letting your desire to win become the only reason you ride. When winning becomes your identity, losing destroys you. When growth becomes your identity, losing teaches you. There is a difference.

Eventually, you have to step out of seasoning mode. At some point, you have to stop telling yourself you are “just seasoning.” You have to begin believing in yourself and your horse. Every run won’t be perfect. But you and your horse have put in the work and earned the right to compete with confidence.

The hardest part about seasoning horses is realizing that while you were waiting for your horse to become ready, you accidentally convinced yourself you weren’t. Nobody discusses that battle and the one to get the fire back to be competitive. The biggest breakthrough isn’t when the horse is finally ready. It’s when the rider finally remembers who they were before all the losses and gains the confidence in their horse to start winning again.