When “Everyone Knew”: The Horse World’s Culture of Silence

This reader submission examines the patterns of abuse and silence that continue to undermine the horse world

Virrage Images, Inc. Canva/CC

By Remmy Killen

Marilyn Little – 2015, 2016, 2018, 2020

Rich Fellers – 2023 (convicted)

Charlotte Dujardin – 2024

George Morris – 2019-2020 (ban and lawsuit)

Andy Kocher – 2021 (10 yr susp)

Andrew McConnon – 2025 (20 months)

Tamie Smith – developing

This is just the list I pulled from the top of my head before delving into Google to double check dates. Different disciplines. Different accusations. So what is the thread that connects them all?

Abusive behavior.

Some of them have had action taken against them either by the FEI or the justice system in their country of residence. Some, it’s purely hearsay if you want to go by legal standards. There’s a few where it’s down right shocking they’ve been able to get away with what they’re accused of. We can run by innocent until proven guilty, that’s fine. We can be skeptical of SafeSport’s findings when those come into play, but there’s something far deeper and far more sinister at play here, I think.

Equestrians complain that the sport is at risk of falling apart. Economic woes, of course, are a major issue. Safety specs for horse and rider need to be addressed. However, within those safety specs, we need to be looking at all the ‘open secrets’ that linger around here. Really look at them instead of turning a blind eye.

The people in the list above are all top level riders, adored by many, but when the accusations started slipping out — one by one — so did the whispers of ‘well, everyone here knew that’ or ‘no one around here would ever use them’. One of those riders was so well liked that they could publicly abuse riders in clinics and it was considered just tough love teaching. That is alarming. So why did we wait for the big story? The horrific story? The heartbreaker that took, usually a minor, to suddenly build adult strength?

As much as there’s a common thread running through that list, there’s also differences: those accused of animal abuse and those accused of abusing people. Can you guess which one is judged more harshly? If you said animal abuse, you’re correct. Because we, as a society, love nothing more than to victim blame. It seems like no matter how much we know about how abuse and those cycles work, it will always be the victims fault and that’s as depressing as it is disgusting.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s no room for animal abuse in this world either and the two often intertwine, but there’s something categorically wrong with how readily we dismiss human abuse victims. All because of what? Someone rides well? Theoretically coaches well? Went to the Olympics? None of those things make you a good person. In my early years of trying to get into working student programs, a former Olympian welcomed me with a “who the hell is this?” followed by an interview full of questions that aren’t legal to ask. To say the weekend went down hill from there would be an understatement.

Should we expect better of Olympic riders? Yes. But only because we should expect better of everyone. Like it or not, if they teach, coach, or train in any capacity then they’re in a position of power — and that goes for all coaches and trainers — which means they can take advantage. This is how we end up with people too scared to say anything. Combine that with the fact that most people aren’t outwardly evil 100% of the time movie villain style, it makes it very difficult to convince people who haven’t seen that side of them. Sometimes it’s hard to convince yourself.

Which brings me to those who are at the highest risk: working students. It’s the horse world’s version of an unpaid internship. Sometimes, you have to pay for the luxury of getting to work your tail off for someone you admired. As someone who worked in the industry awhile, I’m not scared of work. Most people who are searching for these types of jobs aren’t scared of work, if they were then they wouldn’t apply. Things get hazy when the “compensation package” is made of loose promises that are never fulfilled and agreements that are verbally rewritten every ten minutes.

For everyone who has had a good experience, there’s hundreds who have left disillusioned, struggling to find their footing. Those trainers have people in their late teens and early twenties trapped in a stranglehold. It’s easy to say ‘well, they’re adults. They can make their own decisions.’ Can they though? Sure, legally. But does anyone remember being eighteen? Twenty? How much confidence you had matched to the lack of knowledge? Plus, you went to this person to learn because, theoretically, they were successful at the thing you want to be successful at. And because it’s not bad all the time, you convince yourself to stay.

The more well known the trainer, the worse it is, but even one well liked or well known in the local community is enough to make someone second guess saying anything. For example, the girl who came out about Rich Fellers. She was absolutely dragged for telling the truth, even after he was convicted. The girl who blew the whistle on Charlotte? Same. But, such is the life of abuse victims. People don’t want to believe it because it didn’t happen to them and they don’t want to believe it ever could.

Working students are uniquely trapped here because they don’t usually have money to throw around to regain any kind of power balance. They have nothing but a dream and hope. Even if they aren’t sexually abused, their mental and emotional state can be taken apart bit by bit until they’re left questioning their own identity. Even regular students get bits of this as we have made it socially acceptable for trainers to scream at riders, belittling their every move and breath on the back of a horse. If you can’t teach without screaming, do something else.

For everyone in the back huffing about ‘this is how it’s always been! I went through it and I turned out fine!’, allow me to hold your hand as I become the first person to gently tell you that you were also abused and it wasn’t okay then either. This is part of the issue, however. Because so many people were taught that way, to simply “toughen up” and “this is just how it is”, we have entered a realm of generational abuse within an entire industry. The people who try to break that, try to figure out a better way for both horse and person, are viewed as soft and weird.

What’s so wrong with being soft? Being kind? That seems to be the bare minimum in interacting with people and I believe the horses would probably appreciate the step back as well.

Coming back to the industry falling apart; all of that is why. Allowing these people to remain is actively chasing people away. The sport is being destroyed from the inside. It is chewing up people with a dream, a love for the animal, and spitting them out jaded, disillusioned, and empty. People who have to walk away from everything for years to be able to heal before ever looking at another horse again, some never to return.

Remmy Killen is a mid-30s dressage rider who has dabbled in eventing, fox hunting, and even some western riding in their early days. After a short stint as a professional rider, they now work for a veterinary supply company to fund their brand new OTTB mare, Bug, and two cats, Birthday and Tuxedo.