Thoroughbred Logic, Presented by Kentucky Performance Products: Smart, Not Bombproof
“‘Bombproof’ is one of my least favorite terms to describe horses. I mean, when a bomb goes off, I’m going to either freeze or jump. I expect my horse to do the same. I do not want them to stand there and not realize or care that the world around them is changing rapidly.”
Welcome to the next installment of Thoroughbred Logic. In this weekly series, Anthropologist and trainer Aubrey Graham, of Kivu Sport Horses, offers insight and training experience when it comes to working with Thoroughbreds (although much will apply to all breeds). This week ride along as Aubrey shares her logic on the difference between a bombproof horse and a smart horse.
Last Saturday, I did probably the least intelligent thing on horseback I have done in ages. Possibly ever. I donned a blow up Dinosaur costume and rode 10-year-old Thoroughbred Classy Cowboy (Rhino) as I would for a usual sale ad: walk, trot, canter, and a few fences. (I’ll get to the backstory in a minute — and I promise it will make some semblance of sense.) The important part here was that Rhino figured out the dumb game — tote this human in this inflatable bobbling predator costume around like nothing has changed.
Rhino (Classy Cowboy) popping through the 2’6″ grid like he doesn’t have a dinosaur on his back. Photo by Izzy Gritsavage.
My working student led me off the mounting block and made sure he understood that the ask was just like normal — go forward. Rhino stood there unsure for a moment then walked with her. He took a breath, gathered the gist of this game and let me ride. When we jumped, the T-Rex tail smacked him on the butt and he flicked his head around very briefly, but otherwise held it together like a good kid, settled into a down transition and then would quietly approach the fence again. Good boy.
Like really, really good boy.
Lily Drew leading Rhino while he sorted out the situation. Photo by Izzy Gritsavage.
But here’s the important part: Rhino is not bombproof. He’s just smart (and willing and kind enough to not punt me into a wall).
And this is a reason that sits right up near the top of my list about why I love Thoroughbreds: They’re smart. When you tell them that you don’t care and confidently give them direction, they are *usually* able to take a breath and get on with it. Not because they’re not initially worried, and not because they are so desensitized and dead to the world that you can conjure all sorts of shenanigans without them blinking. Nope. There’s certainly lots of wide-eying, but there’s also a lot of kindness and smarts that allow them to pause the flight response and think through the situation. This brain power is what also makes them damn good on cross country — and safe to boot.
Emmett (Oboy) hadn’t run much “real” cross country before tackling the maxed out Starter course at Course Brook two weekends ago. Nonetheless, he was brave and ridable to absolutely every fence. Photo by Allen Graham
“Bombproof” is one of my least favorite terms to describe horses. I mean, when a bomb goes off, I’m going to either freeze or jump. I expect my horse to do the same. I do not want them to stand there and not realize or care that the world around them is changing rapidly. But I do want them to have the presence of mind to not lose it, think through the situation and continue to trust their handler and listen for new input. I’m going to bet that Sergeant Reckless — the small Thoroughbred mare who independently ran munitions to American soldiers in Korea — was not bombproof either. She was probably just smart and willing and absolutely brave.
Sergeant Reckless during the Korean War. Photo courtesy of https://sgtreckless.com
The risk with doing an ad like the one for Rhino this was that folks were going to think that Rhino was indeed bombproof and relate that to being a deadhead packer. Should that happen, I would get all the wrong folks messaging with questions about him. So the ad had to be written in a particular way to emphasize that no, we’re not bombproof over here, we’re just smart. (Well, he is — I’m the idiot who put on a blow up dinosaur costume and jumped a grid. That doesn’t qualify me as a genius.)
I have a full sales ad posted for Rhino on Facebook and my website, but the important bit is this:
“He’s [Rhino is] not dumb proof, we’re just dumb.” (Izzy Gritsavage gets credit for that quality quip).
Bingo.
This is not a husband horse (unless your man can legit ride, then yep, husband horse Rhino shall be). This horse is not “bomb proof” or “kid proof” He’s not going to hack a barely-back-to-riding adult on trails without blinking (oh don’t worry, he’ll trail ride, but you’ll still be aware of riding a (hopefully well behaved, forward thinking) Thoroughbred. He won’t tolerate hard hands or a hot seat, anxious rides or tight knees.
What he is is smart enough to figure this game out and willing enough to ignore it so long as I rode like I normally do (and did not headbutt him with the t-Rex… oops). He requires an educated ride (whether in a blow up dinosaur or not), and the patience to explain new things to him confidently. After a minute, Rhino didn’t care about any of this because I didn’t care about any of this.
And at the end of the day, Rhino is a good, smart kid. He wants to please. He wants to learn, and he wants to figure it out…Even if the game is really, really, really stupid. He’s sweet but not in your pocket. He’s just that smart, willing horse who deserves that confident, smart rider. He’ll jump, he’ll dressage. He’ll trail ride, but you have to have the confidence to help him learn whatever new game you need him to play. And I’m flexible enough on carrots to make this happen without too much complication.
Rhino tolerating the shenanigans. Photo by Izzy Gritsavage.
And while Rhino hasn’t found his new human just yet, the comments have nonetheless been entertaining. My favorite was a simple phrase on a share of the post. “Typical Thoroughbred, unbothered by the bothersome” (credit to Jessie MacWhistle there). Nailed it. And the way that they are unbothered is by having had a ton of experience at the track and the intelligence to take a breath, slow down their flight response, and check in with the humans they trust. “Is this thing going to kill me? You seem confident… so it is not going to eat me? Ok, you’re dumb, but fine, off we go if you say so.”
As I said, good Rhino. Good, smart Thoroughbred.
News to me, you can’t really walk at normal speed… or really at all in this damn thing… Photo by Izzy Gritsavage.
So now the brief backstory:
Rhino came to me more or less straight from the track. He then sold to a capable young woman who had him for two years before sending him back to me to tune up and rehome (my horses can always come back, and he got to prove that point). He’s been here since April. He’s jumped, dressaged, toted around working students and friends alike, and spent a trial period at a dressage barn. Despite all of this and a low rehoming fee, he is still here with next to no attention. So in frustration, I ended up doing the dumb stunt of putting a Dino on a Rhino. The internet loves Tomfoolery like that, and if I can get folks to look at the horse and shake their head at me, perhaps I can get him enough attention to find a fantastic home before winter.
So my usually semi-serious barn laughed through a morning of a shark onesie for conformation photos and a precarious dinosaur ride. My only hope now is that folks can see that Rhino is just a typical, good egg Thoroughbred who is willing to play whatever game you want to teach him. And I’m pretty sure, other than Rhodie (Western Ridge — no chance in overriding his flight response), I could probably have gone slowly and done this stunt with any horse in the barn. Neil might have been a more exciting ride, but that’s because Neil is just perpetually an electric eel — he’s still smart and still would have figured it out.)
Rhino might have liked how soft it was… so there’s that. Photo by Izzy Gritsavage.
So go ride folks, and enjoy your smart horses, whether they tolerate a blow up Dino (or Shark Onesie) or not.
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