2023 Readers’ Choice Awards: Zoetis Funniest Piece of the Year

Here at Horse Nation, we like to keep you laughing when you read. Now it’s time for you to decide which horsey humor article entertained you the most in 2023. Vote now!

At the end of each December, we look back on the year that was and highlight the articles, essays and videos that most inspired readers, triggered important conversations or had everyone rolling on the floor with laughter — and then let readers decide which one is deserving of the title of the Best of the Year.

One of our main goals is to provide you with a regular dose of equine ridiculousness to keep you smiling as you go about your days. Take a look at our top five funny stories of the year and vote for your favorite!

I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means: Equestrian Edition

Originally published on January 3, 2023

“Perhaps one of the most quoted lines from The Princess Bride — and there are many, so that’s saying something — is Iñigo Montoya‘s response to Vizzini’s overuse of the word ‘inconceivable.’

“Even if it’s not the most used quote, it’s one I find myself repeating often — sometimes to myself, sometimes aloud (it all depends how salty I’m feeling in the moment). In the equestrian world, I find myself thinking this A LOT. There are a ton of terms that equestrians — or wannabe ‘equestrians’ — use on a regular basis that don’t quite mean what they think it means.”

This list from DeAnn Long Sloan (in collaboration with The Western Thoroughbred) included terms such as dead broke, in your pocket, out of, stand up, dream horse, and many more.

I’m So Horse Poor That… Presented by Breeches.com

Originally published on July 21, 2023

“So, we all know that horses are expensive. Like, really expensive. And as equestrians, we’re known to make a few sacrifices so that our equine pals never go without. This definitely leads to some… er… rather creative financial choices on our part.”

This list included 10 things that only horse poor equestrians can understand. They included things like our horses’ collection of sport boots (vs. our own duct taped boots), the creative side hustles some equestrians engage in to support their habit/passion, and more.

20 Top Gun Quotes That Apply to Riding Horses

Originally published on September 15, 2023

“Each generation has movies that are somehow part of the fabric of their identities. It seems shallow, but it’s true. As a child of the 80s, there are a number of absolutely iconic movies that I would put on this list. Not the least of which is Top Gun. Released in 1986, this is one of those movies I watched over and over again… and again. I can quote it line for line (much to the dismay of all those watching it with me). Yet, somehow, it only recently occurred to me that so many of those famous quotes are things that apply to the world of horses.”

Here are some highlights from the 20 quotes in the article that definitely can apply to horses:

1. Maverick: I feel the need…
Maverick, Goose: …the need for speed!

2. Iceman: You! You are still dangerous.

3. Carole (you to your horse): Hey, Goose, you big stud!
Goose (my horse): That’s me, honey.

4. Charlie (random horse “trainer” to you): The Pentagon sees to it that I know more than you.
Maverick (you): Well, ma’am, it doesn’t seem so in this case, now, does it?

5. Maverick (trainer): I can’t shoot this son of a b!tc#. Let’s see if we can have a little fun with him.

So Fetch: 15 Mean Girls GIFs Directly From Your Mare

Originally published on October 3, 2023

“It’s October 3rd. It’s officially Mean Girls Day. No, that doesn’t mean you get to BE a mean girl, it’s just a nod to the cult classic that so many of us adore. These GIFs from the movie could have come straight from your mare’s mouth (or at least be about her):

“As an eternal mare person (chestnut, at that), I would be lying if I didn’t say that there are many, MANY times I look at my mares and just know that what they’re thinking is something that definitely would fit right in with the script from Mean Girls. (Heck, I even named my pony Regina George — she shows under the name On Wednesdays We Wear Pink — because, after all, she is all sass all the time… and she gives zero effs about, well, anything.)”

This GIF article shared a series of GIFs from Mean Girls that clearly could come from many of our mares. Some of the highlights include:

Your mare when you tell her she’s the prettiest:

Your mare when you ask her to come in for a workout:

When you ask your mare when she’s going to drop the attitude:

Your mare in heat:

7 MORE Things That Need To Come in Pumpkin Spice

Originally published on October 5, 2023

“One of our favorite classic articles to re-post is this piece on nine horsey things that need to come in pumpkin spice*. However, upon reflection, we think there are a few more things that could only be improved by the popular fall flavor. So here are seven more horse-related things that need to come in pumpkin spice. Feel free to laugh along with us… or just roll you eyes. 🙄”

This list included such items as Pumpkin Spike Banamine Paste, Pumpkin Spice Fly Spray, Pumpkin Spice Poultice, and more.

Which of these do you think is the funniest? Let us know and we’ll announce the winner on New Year’s Eve.