The Ultimate Encyclopedia of Horse Term Euphemisms

You’ve probably seen a few of these interpretative guides floating around the Internet. But this one, by world-renowned connoisseur of equine baddies Maria Wachter, just might take the cake.

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And off we go!

Athletic: Horse can buck, bolt, bite, rear and kick — all at the same time.

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Buddy Sour: Prefers the company of anyone else besides you.

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Barn Sour: Lazy, has a bad work ethic and probably hates you.

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Green: Horse has had a saddle on his back… once.

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​Piaffe: Jigging. (“I’m trotting in place!”)

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Crow Hop: When your “own” horse violently bucks, but your “own” horse would never buck. He was just crow-hopping.

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Hard Keeper: Imagine a little boy from Somalia was reincarnated as your horse.

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Easy Keeper: Foundered.

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Dead broke: Deaf, and dead.

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Bombproof: Deaf, lame and dead.

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​Hard Sided: Won’t move unless walking towards the grain bucket. Spurs to him feel like a deep-tissue massage.

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Hot: Has never slowed down to a walk a day in his life.

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Needs Experienced Rider: You will lose a limb if you back this horse.

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Easy to Catch: Easy to catch in a 10×10 stall with a bucket of grain, in a pair of hobbles.

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Hard to Catch: Hard to catch unless you have a tranquilizer dart, or are a skilled roper.

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Sound: Sound when standing still in a pile of shavings.

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Lame: Can’t walk, and missing a hoof.

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Well Broke: Can walk and poop at the same time.

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Safe: Hasn’t killed anyone, yet…

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Have any others to add? Share them in the comments section.

Go Riding!