Thoroughbred Logic, Presented by Kentucky Performance Products: When It’s Not the Right Match

Sometimes the kindest decision is admitting a partnership isn’t working. This week’s article explores how to recognize when it’s time to move on, navigate the emotions of letting go, and rehome a horse responsibly so both horse and rider have the best chance at finding the right fit.

Welcome to the next installment of Thoroughbred Logic. In this weekly series, Anthropologist and trainer Aubrey Graham, of Kivu Sport Horses, offers insight and training experience when it comes to working with Thoroughbreds (although much will apply to all breeds). This week ride along as Aubrey shares her logic on what to do when you realize you and your horse are not a good match.

This came up in last week’s article: What do you do when it is just not a match?

Thoroughbreds can be tough. Hell, all horses are tough. But these kids are so smart, so driven, and often so anxious when it doesn’t work out, that they can test even the best of us. And sometimes, after trying a handful or a million different ways, it becomes time to realize that this isn’t a good fit.

One of my favorite horses was unfortunately not a perfect fit for his previous human, but when we introduced eventing, he found his niche and I’m quite glad he never sold. Photo of Artie (Reunion Tour) by Lily Drew.

I’m here to remind you that that is OK. And also here to note that there are a few ways that are better than others to find them new homes when you’re in a pickle.

Recognizing that it is time to find them a new human is totally and 100% fine — regardless of motive. From the rider perspective, maybe one doesn’t prefer their personality, or the ride, or maybe despite all efforts, said horse just hasn’t taken to the discipline on offer. Maybe they can’t stay sound or a rider is simply over-horsed. Maybe… there are a lot of options here…

From the horse perspective, this may come to the fore when they don’t take to the rider’s ride (or tack), the accommodations on offer, the turnout situation — who their friends are, individual vs group or time allowed outside and so on. Perhaps the discipline offered just makes them anxious. There are a million options, but they know as well as you do when things aren’t working out.

Magic (Mr. Magico) has historically been tricky. I thought he’d be a shoe in for fox hunting, but that wasn’t the case. He loves eventing, but still has a lot to figure out before he heads to his next human. Photo from GMHA by Shawn Tinkham Photography.

Selling horses can be challenging at the best of times — when the horses are doing everything right, when their show record is good, and when they are sound and happy. Selling a horse who is a mismatch makes it harder. It is harder to get them to the right home because either the human or horse is unhappy. It is hard to allow trial rides on a horse that a rider struggles to ride themselves. And it is hard to make sure that the next placing won’t be just as challenging or simply worse because the rider may not fully understand why the match isn’t working.

With that in mind, here are a few recommendations:

First, figure out why the match doesn’t work. This is often a humbling experience and might feel like going to therapy and having to take a good hard look at your role in the situation. And that means addressing the things you are not able or willing to change. It then means taking responsibility for those choices. Sounds like therapy? Yeah… fair enough.

This handsome, but could-be-pushy kid (Loggins – Civil Service) wasn’t the perfect match for his first off-track human (to no real fault of her own), but when he found his second match through consignment, he landed in a home looking for exactly what he had to offer. Photo by Lily Drew.

Is it that your goals are one thing and the horse’s ability or enjoyment is another? Is it that the vet you love can’t figure out why they are lame and you don’t want to keep pouring money into the diagnostics? Is it that you thought the from track to show ring Do-It-Yourself plan was going to be fun, but it has turned out to be more steps back than forward? Is it that your diehard boarding situation makes your horse bonkers (or angry, or anxious)? Is it that your chosen trainer and your horse don’t match and, thus, there’s a spin-off of negativity and push for a new horse? Or is it simply that you thought you could ride this horse and you’re now scared, or feel over horsed? Is it simply, you’re not in love with this one and that is the type of relationship you want with a horse?

These are seriously hard questions to answer honestly. And sometimes, they require talking to outside sources and getting perspective. They might require a chat with your trainer or barn manager. They might be worth a call to a professional (potentially an expert in your breed or someone who runs consignment) who does this all the time (again, a plug for our virtual consultations — not because I want to be doing a million of these, but because I don’t think people know that there are folks out there who want to help parse through the situation and the data with you.

Hennessy (Johnny Bootleggs) came to us from a super responsible owner who found her current life situation not matching the time he needed. And that was totally OK (and he clearly had been well loved). Photo by Lily Drew.

I can’t tell you how many people have breathed easier when I have told them that they are neither alone nor a bad person for making the hard decision to give their horse a different home for any and all of the above reasons. And to go back to my first point — that is OK. You will be happier and the horse will be happier in situations that fit each of you better.

So how do you find a new home for your horse (responsibly) when it is not going well? First, let’s start with what you don’t do: DO NOT, and I repeat do not post your horse FREE TO GOOD HOME on Facebook or Craigslist (do people even use that anymore?) or at your local feed store, wherever.

Fletcher (Reflection) is by far my favorite Craigslist horse. He was spotted and nabbed off of the site by my friend, Erica Brown. Between her home and mine, he went on to have a number of careers and riders and all of the attention. But he never should have been on that site in the first place. Photo from 2020 or so by Alannah Giltmier.

The only people in my not-so-humble opinion who should be posting free horses are those who are knowledgable rehoming off-the-track or out of reputable rescues or rehoming programs where the horses are protected by contracts and a network that can knowledgeably check references and take them back if/when things don’t work out. I’m sure there are a few exceptions there, too, but you get the point.

Jade Favre is a great example. She gets absolute hell from the internet Karens for posting free Thoroughbreds who are retiring with injuries. If you like reading wild comments, follow her page. But she religiously checks references and rehomes to people she knows and trusts in these situations. The Karens simply need something better to do with their lives…

Instead, here are a few suggestions:

The DIY Plan

If you choose the DIY route in selling your horse, be aware of the responsibility that comes with that to both your horse and your buyers.

To that end, write an honest ad. Tell the folks who are horse shopping why your horse is great, but also why they are for sale. Is Fluffy prone to rear when you grab and hold on for dear life? Fine. Put that in the ad. Not doing so risks the human and the horse in the next placement. Have you done any diagnostics to see why that is happening besides the riding? If yes, put the findings in the ad. If not, say that too. Also, if you’re planning to offer trial rides (definitely clear that with management first), definitely think that through if the horse is safe enough to throw a leg over for folks who are not, perhaps, experts.

Zeke (Analyzethisandthat) is here on consignment, but as his ad mentions on my site (www.kivusporthorses.com), he might jump around like this here, but he isn’t a ride for everyone. We’ll find the perfect person for him, but just selling him to the first inquiry because he jumps pretty would be irresponsible. Photo by Lily Drew.

I’m a huge fan of disclosing all the things. Does it mean the horse might not sell quickly? Sure. But it does mean that when they do, they usually end up at a home that makes a ton of sense and where their quirks are no longer damning. If you’re not comfortable offering trial rides on this horse or at your facility, it might be worth getting them elsewhere for sale.

The Consignment Plan

I’m biased here — I run a sales and consignment facility. But I think that consignment is one of the best ways to safely get these horses to the right homes. I could run my business without offering to sell other people’s horses. But considering I’m the big dumb idiot who runs a business premised on the idea of helping Thoroughbreds with the skills I have, consignment allows me to do that.

When Ducky’s (Return the Ring) owner noted that they weren’t meshing, I jumped at the opportunity to have this kid back in our consignment program. He had previously been here for training and I adore him. Photo by Lily Drew.

When people are over-horsed or simply have a creature who is a puzzle, or is categorically not happy in the situation they are in, I can use this very Thoroughbred-centered facility and training to help sort the horse out, figure out what they need, and orient them to the right buyer. And in the end if the owner ends up choosing to give them away, we can do so with a “they can always come back” clause in the bill of sale that helps to keep them safe.

But of course, not all consignment is created equal (so do your research, please), and good consignment is not cheap. And I get it that when people want to be done with the horse they have, they no longer want to dump money into them. Consignment is paying not just for their board, but for the network, reputation, skills of the trainer and team, the dialed in facility and nutrition, and the marketing. That means both creating the promotional material, but also managing the endless calls, texts, and trials (if offered). Moreover, consignment might require further investment in the form of vet work to help get the horse suitable for sale.

I got to jump Koe (Bronze Medal) around on consignment here and now he’s blasting around the jumper ring with his new owner and I could not be happier for both of them. Screen grab by Lily Drew.

I hate having to ask people to support their horses in consignment with diagnostics or treatments. I know that they want to be done with this chapter of their lives, not continue to pay more for it. But if all it takes to get a horse ridable and sellable is to inject their hocks, properly treat for ulcers, or put back shoes on them, or have a diagnostic workup so that we know if they are going to be able to safely jump or not, I want that to be able to be possible. Not being able to do so often means that they become increasingly difficult to sell.

The Gotta Get Gone Plan

If affording consignment isn’t possible, and selling the horse seems insurmountable, there are a few options. These include reaching out to rescues and aftercare agencies as well as targeting experts in the field, breeders, and racing connections.

Some, but certainly not all, breeders bring horses into the world knowing that not all of them are going to succeed. Some will break, some simply will not be fast, and some will not have the ability to stay in second careers. Those responsible breeders may even have retirement farms for said horses, with grassy paddocks and care as needed. Is it going to be a show home quality of care? Probably not. Is your horse going to be outside full time, get a long mane and maybe sometimes long feet? Quite possibly. But if they’ll take them back, that’s huge. You should probably plan to pay for shipping to get them there, though.

See that fat, fluffy chestnut on the far left? That is Juice (Pulpituity). I loved that horse since the day he arrived, but when his suspensory injuries caused retirement and were not holding up on my hills in Georgia, I made the difficult choice to send him back his breeder (well, she bred his mare, but they sold with Juice in utero, so not technically breeder of record). I am perpetually indebted to Cathy Gulick Sanders for her kindness in taking him back and providing endless (flatter) pasture for him to roam. Photo by Cathy Sanders.

Breeders can be found on your horse’s equibase page and tracked down through connections. Sometimes, if they can’t take them, they have a preferred aftercare organization that might be able to help. And sometimes, it is worth reaching out to their racing connections for the same reasons. You might just get lucky and have someone willing to retire or rehome the horse.

Alanah Giltmier and Aspenfiveoneseven had a ton of fun while he stayed sound, but ultimately despite best efforts, when he couldn’t hold up to further riding, Winchester Place Thoroughbreds took him back and offered him pasture retirement. Photo by the Kivu Team.

Other options include reaching out to trainers or riders who you are pretty certain would love your horse and seeing if they’re interested in taking said horse on. The best way to do this is to offer them the horse with all disclosures, and offer to ship it to them. But don’t be surprised if they are full or are not willing to take on more problem children. They may say that they are too full. But there’s a chance that they might be like, “you know, I have one more stall open and if you can get it here, I can take it on.” In other words, asking never hurts, but be prepared to get more nos here than yeses.

If those avenues prove to be dead-ends, there are places where the entire goal is to take horses who are struggling in their current situation. Aftercare organizations range drastically in quality, care levels, training ability, and goals. Some offer sanctuary, some do rehab, others retrain for lower-level homes. Some do all of the above. It is very much worth it to do your research on the organization: Are they real? What level of care do they provide? Do they disclose all of what is known to their new buyers? Do they keep track of their horses?

Sews (Lord Darnley) didn’t work out in his initial sale to a lovely rider in Washington state. She kindly shipped him back to us at Stall 13 Thoroughbreds and we were able to sort out his quirks and rehome him to a fantastic family in the midwest. Photo by Lily Drew.

And in cases where aftercare is chosen, it is worth expecting that, despite the fact that they may adopt your horse out for a specific price later, you will nonetheless likely be expected to donate to the organization when you drop them off. Donations vary between a couple hundred dollars and a couple thousand. From the perspective of someone who also runs a 501-C3 (Stall 13, Inc.) these help keep our lights on, keep the horses fed, and allow us to get the vet work started so that we can get the horses sorted and to the right homes.

…

OK, that was a lot. Apparently I have oodles of things to say about responsible rehoming. But I’ll put it out there that if you’re ever in a pickle and need advice or perspective on your Thoroughbred, you’re legitimately welcome to reach out.

Stay cool and go ride if it is safe to do so, folks, or you know… just feed them watermelon and find a fan.

About Kentucky Performance Products, LLC:

Not all electrolytes are created equal. When choosing an electrolyte, look for one that is science-backed and low in sugar, such as Summer Games®. This research-proven electrolyte formulation was originally developed for the horses competing in the 1996 Olympics.

Created from the results of extensive studies investigating the composition of sweat, Summer Games contains both key electrolytes and trace minerals in the actual amounts lost through sweating. While it’s an electrolyte worthy of Olympic athletes, Summer Games can be given in adjusted serving sizes to meet any horse’s needs, from hard-working lesson ponies to fiery eventers. Shop for this summer staple here.

Kentucky Performance Products creates scientifically proven supplements for your horse. Our supplements provide solutions to the everyday challenges facing your horse. The horse that matters to you matters to us®. Learn more about KPP at kppusa.com.