My first horse was named after embalming fluid…
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What’s in a name? That age old question becomes very complicated when you are a Funeral Director AND an Equestrian. And I am both, which makes me both tired and penniless. But I digress, and as for naming horses, my first horse was a spunky little mare who came to me dubbed as “Getting’ Kinky” — slightly disconcerting to a 17-year-old in the 1980s (late 80’s — I’m not THAT old!).
I wanted my new partner to be remembered for the incredible things we were going to do, NOT her “Kinky” name. So, the renaming began. Liquor names were popular back then: Brandy Alexander, Sweet Old Fashion, Amaretto Sour, Negroni … nope, not hitting the mark. Movies were next: Princess Buttercup, Some Kind of Wonderful, Legend … nope to the movies.
Then I glanced down at the pad I was jotting all of these names on and right at the top was “Pierce Chemical – Royal Bond Embalming Fluid since 1946”. As Gru from the Minions Movies would say, “LIGHTBULB!” And at our next Show she was announced as “Royal Bond,” a regal title for a spunky little OTTB.
I thought I was brilliant — her name was memorable, easy to pronounce at shows for the announcers and would fit nicely on a halter plate. PERFECT! Until someone asked me how I came up with her name, and me being me, told them “Oh, she’s named after Embalming Fluid.” After that I became known, not for my fabulous riding or my spunky OTTB, but for being the girl who has the horse named after funeral products. And that was the beginning of the “Equestrian DarkSide.”
Oh, and by the by, I dubbed my next horse “Bernine.” Rhat’s right, the dead guy from “Weekend at Bernie’s.” Hey, don’t mess with a good thing!