A Day in the Life of a Pony Named Pony: My Favorite Pastime

How I make my time more bearable… 

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like in the mind of a pony, wonder no more. You’ll get to read the hilarious inner workings of a sassy and opinionated POA named Pony. 

Illustration by Jenny Kammerer. You can find her on Instagram at @jennykammart.

Dear Diary,

Life gets pretty dull at the confinement center. Every day it’s the same thing: wake up, avoid capture for as long as possible, deign to eat my cardboard-like rations, bang on the stall door until allowed at least some measure of freedom, roll to get the stench of human off of me and then wander the pasture looking for an escape and waiting for the endless cycle to continue.

However, some days, entertainment presents itself in a form I just can’t pass up: boxing. Some horses have the pleasure of engaging in this activity on a regular basis by being allowed to push around the cows the humans seem to find use for. I, on the other hand, am relegated to walk-only trail rides, costume classes and leadline.

Toting around the small human, douse in purple, and forced to endure a purple mane. NOT what I was meant for. Photo courtesy of DeAnn Long Sloan.

However, some days I can find ways to show my true skill set and engage in my favorite pastime (at least while stuck in the confinement center) by boxing the more bovine-like horses in my pasture. All it takes it the right combination of energy on my part and placement on their part, and BOOM! It’s boxing day.

That’s when I get to get low, keep the other horse’s head and box them into the exact spot where I want them. Sometimes I do this for 30 seconds, sometimes I do it for a few minutes — whatever suits my fancy that day. I try to do it when the humans are watching, in the hopes they will realize my superiority and steer clear of me. Or, at the very least, remove me from this confinement center and allow me to work toward a purpose for which I am much better suited: telling cows what to do. Really, telling anyone (and everyone) what to do is what I’m best suited for, but alas. That does not seem to be my destiny, as the humans have determined that I will remain relegated to the confinement center, wasting my days waiting for rations and looking for a way out.

Till next time, Diary.