Our horses are our mirrors… right? Here is a look at what your horse — or at least your favorite breed of horse — says about you. A word of warning: this is in meant all in good fun, but if you are offended easily, this may not be the read for you.
As a horse trainer, people often ask me how I feel about one breed of horse or another. The truth is I love every breed I have worked with over the years. But, my husband shared a list from McSweeney’s with me called “What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You,” and it made me think about what your favorite horse breed could possibly say about you. So, I attempted to exploit some elements of my favorite breeds to create a tongue-in-cheek look at what your favorite horse breed says about you.
Mustang: you’ve worn a flower crown at least once in your life
Thoroughbred: you enjoy lighting money on fire and then dancing around the fire like a deranged imp
Standardbred: you eat large quantities of cheese as often as possible
Arabian: you probably drive your sports car while blasting Cher
Percheron: you like big butts and you cannot lie
Friesian: you really really love romance novels
Fell Pony: your friends often catching you humming “God Save the Queen”
Shetland Pony: you secretly hate your children
Gypsy Vanner: you played with My Little Ponies longer than was strictly acceptable
Pony of the Americas: you always did have a thing for the bad boys
Paint: you enjoy adult coloring books more than most adults
Appaloosa: you secretly enjoyed having the Chicken Pox as a small child
Saddlebred: you just couldn’t get your hands on a giraffe
Dutch Warmblood: your favorite Pokemon was probably Jigglypuff
Hanoverian: you always had a thing for jocks with big bulging muscles
Quarter Horse: you either want to go very fast or very slow — there is no in between
Lipizzan: you grew up wanting to dance but were cursed with two left feet
Unicorn: you are actually a six-year-old girl
What breed did we miss? And what do you think it says about its rider? Let us know in the comments section!