Best of JN: If Your Newly Retired RRP Thoroughbred Makeover Mount Could Talk

As the application deadline for the Thoroughbred Makeover draws near, many riders are acquiring their fresh off-the-track horses. Here’s a hilarious tongue-in-cheek look at what those horses would say if they could talk.

For many people the New Year means resolutions of getting fit, losing weight, purging and turning over a new leaf. The New Year for the OTTB lover means preparing for another Thoroughbred Makeover. On January 15th The Retired Racehorse Project will close 2020 trainer applications. In honor of the racehorses retiring and heading to new homes in preparation for the Makeover, enjoy what we all know they’re thinking during this transitional period.

1) “What is this styrofoam Karen? Grain is NOT supposed to taste like this.” 

Team Coco GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

2) “Boy, this saddle got heavy and the exercise riders at this new place must not miss any meals.”

Fat Stephen Colbert GIF by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert - Find & Share on GIPHY

3) “ Oh my God this field is sooooo big. Why can’t I see the fence? What if I get lost out here? I’d better start running and screaming so that the humans can find me.”

Go Go Go Running GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

4) “The humans here ride on such tiny tracks, they must be poor and can’t afford full sized ones.”

Too Small Tim Robinson GIF by The Lonely Island - Find & Share on GIPHY

5) “No Karen, I’m not full yet, I’m still hungry. Yes I understand I’ve had breakfast, lunch, and dinner and 6 flakes of hay. Yes Karen, you can see two of my ribs, you should probably add in another meal and maybe some alfalfa.”

Hungry Om Nom Nom GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

6) What’s this white stuff in my grain? It smells funny. I think a burglar broke in and poisoned my food, I shouldn’t eat it. Did she say it’d make my stomach feel better? Oh it’s medicine? And expensive? Definitely not eating it.”

Unbelievable No Way GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

7) “Thank goodness she finally let me out of that box and into this awesome field. But, I think I’m ready to come back in, I’ve been out here awhile. Banging the gate hasn’t gotten her attention, I guess I should run. Karen, what are you grumbling about? I was only outside for an hour? No way, it was way longer. Now you’re complaining that you’ve tried to put me out three separate times today? You were just sweeping, I know you weren’t doing anything more important.”

Picky Prude GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Cheers to all the racehorses transitioning to their their new jobs and all of the trainers working on their Makeover applications. Don’t miss the closing date!

Go riding!