10 Reasons We Don’t Want to ‘Come Back’ As Horses

Nope, nope, nope.


Ever hear someone say “when I die, I want to come back as my horse” and then think to yourself the heck you do?

Here are a few (tongue-in-cheek) reasons why we DON’T want to be a horse.

1. If you break your leg… game over. (Okay, this is increasingly not always the case, but it’s not usually a great outcome.)

2. No fingers to pick your nose.

3. Once you find some sort of new hobby (such as cribbing), your owner nips it in the bud.

4. Somehow, someone over the course of history convinced the rest of humanity that a 65-pound western saddle is more comfortable for a horse to wear than a 12-pound English saddle, because it distributes the rider’s weight better.

5. Humans are encouraged to release their anger by punching pillows, taking up kick boxing, drinking, etc….. horses… not allowed to ever kick or buck or bite.

6. You have to eat the same darn thing for the rest of your life.

7. You can’t throw up. Not a big deal, until you need to.

8. You have to stand up the whole way on road trips.

9. If you end up having a baby, chances are you’ll never get to see it grow up… and if the slim chance you do, it probably will grow up and want to breed you.

10. Fourth of July is now your least favorite day of the year.

Go riding.

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