Actual Things I’ve Heard Around Horses

The only things more amazing than horses are horse people.

Seriously, you’ll LOL. Photo by Kristen Kovatch.

For anyone that’s been in the horse world for a long time, you will come across people from all walks of life. Most people love horses, even if they don’t own one. They will ask all kinds of questions that make you smile: “Where do you put your horses when it rains; Can I bring my kids up to ride; What do horses eat; how long do they live; Do they like to go riding?”

Then, there are people that have horses, have had horses all their lives and still tell me some funny stuff. Being in the horse business over the years, from buying and selling, to training, to boarding and to wrangling, I’ve heard it all.

This is for all the people out there that gave me a good laugh without realizing they did.

“I used to jump and won a lot of ribbons. The horse I rode was a big, black Persian. You know, the draft horse like the Budweiser horses.”

“I owned a Tennessee Walker/paint cross. He was so tall, a true 15.4h.”

Me, at a trail riding stable going out of business and selling their stock: “So, do you have any mules for sale?”
Toothless and shirtless wrangler: “No, but we have a lot of mule crosses, this one here is half mule.”

My buddy texted me this past week. Now, he has been in the horse business for a long time. He’s owned race horses and also one of the most prestigious hunter/jumper stables in Vegas, but he just likes to trail ride:

Friend: Maria, there’s a free horse available, if interested here’s the #.
Me: what type of horse is he?
Him: He’s part Parisian.
Me to myself: Does he like wine and cheese and fine art?”

“I’m a very experienced rider”
*and then proceeds to mount on the left side and put the right foot into the stirrup*

“Oh, what a cute mule!”
Actually, that’s not a mule, she’s a Haflinger.

“Mommy! Mommy! That horse has donkey ears!”
Kiddo, that’s a mule.

“I’m looking for a buckskin horse that my husband can ride and be safe around my kids. He must know trails, be sound, no older than 12.”
Great, I have the perfect horse for you! And he’s even registered.
“Oh, by the way, I only can spend $500¬†and I don’t have a trailer.”

Go riding.

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