10 Ways To Tell If You’re a Google Vet or Armchair Jockey

Vet school is for chumps and no one needs a professional trainer — these days, we have the internet! Here are 10 indicators you might have a degree in veterinary science or training from Google U —  a tongue-in-cheek list.

Pro tip: sometimes it’s okay to call the vet. Like if your horse can’t get up.

Hey, so you may have dropped out of high school and skipped that fancy college thing, but maybe you have degree from the school of the internet and didn’t even know it!

Here are ten ways to know that you have an honorary doctorate, courtesy of social media and your favorite search engine, taken with a grain of salt:

1. You think that coconut oil and turmeric can cure 99% of all horse ailments.

2. Metal shoes and bits are the the only reason your horse can go lame. If you want a sound horse, you need to go barefoot and bit free.

3. You publicly shame anyone on any social media site that is on a horse without a helmet on, wearing spurs, or using a crop. If the photo catches the horse with all his weight on his forehand or with his mouth open, you leap into action.

4. You make it adamant that horses are for life, and if someone decides to sell their horse, it’s the WORST thing they could ever do. EVER.

5. You make your own organic fly spray (that causes migraines, hives, early-onset Parkinson’s and constipation, but it definitely keeps the flies away)… and it doesn’t contain pesticides.

6. You only worm your horse with diatomaceous earth.

7. If turmeric can’t cure it (refer to #1) apple cider vinegar definitely can.

8. Horses NEVER should be turned out in a group together. Everyone knows they’re only safe if you keep them alone in a stall.

9. You can’t actually get your horse to trailer load, but you do like to tell other people how to load their horses.

10. When you Google your questions, everything that pops up in the search is from your answers on every board you like to troll.

Go riding.