Or, how not to make an ASS out of yourself.
People choose to ride mules: they are not forced to. Mostly this is because people want a ride that is surefooted, stays sound longer and lives longer, can be said to be smarter than most horses and has an unique personality. Unfortunately, the general public (and a lot of equestrians) have not been around many mules and are just a bit ignorant about the horse’s long-eared cousin.
Here are some of the many comments you’ll hear when riding your mule. A big shout out goes to my friends on the Mules of New Mexico Facebook group for all of their suggestions!
1. Why does your horse have big donkey ears?
The better to hear your questions with.
2. Don’t get too close! Mules kick.
I mean, this isn’t wrong, but they’re not going to just up and attack you either.
3. Mules make some funny noises.
Yes, they will sing you the song of their people.
4. Wow, are you riding a donkey?
In a matter of speaking, sort of.
5. I didn’t know donkeys could get that big!
Actually, they can … and this is still not a donkey.
6. I didn’t know you could ride a mule!
Technically, you can ride anything if you hang on tight enough.
7. I thought mules were smaller than horses!
You got some bad intel, my friend.
8. My horse is stubborn, just like a mule!
Actually, you wish your horse could be as willing as my mule.
9. A mule will wait his whole life to kick you in the head.
Well, good thing they live a long time then.
10. I thought mules were too stubborn to ride?
Wow, then how did I get up here?
11. What a lovely horse!
12. Wow, that’s either a mule or the ugliest horse I’ve ever seen.
13. Is your horse half-mule?
Y — wait, what?
14. I heard that mules are sterile. Does that means they don’t have any junk?
Next question, please.
15. Is your mule pregnant?
Yes, we’re expecting a lovely hay bale any day now.
16. My horse is deathly afraid of mules.
Well, I’m deathly afraid of your horse then.
17. Is that a full mule? Or just a half?
His mother was a Quarter horse, so actually …
18. What’s that strap around his butt? Is that to stop him from kicking people?
That britchen is there so this doesn’t happen:
19. That’s not a mule — mules went extinct in the 1800s.
Yep, this is the next best thing to riding a dinosaur.
20. Wow, that’s a lovely donkey!
Alright, that’s enough comments for one day. You’re boring my mule.
Mule lovers of Horse Nation, share your best mule-related questions and comments you’ve ever heard! And go riding … on a mule.