#TBT: Equestrian Time Warp, Barn Edition

Time sure does fly…

Flickr/Kyle Morgan/CC

Flickr/Kyle Morgan/CC

Doesn’t it seem like there’s some sort of spell on the clock when you’re with your horse, talking about your horse or doing something for your horse’s benefit? You swear it’s only been a few minutes, but when you check the clock, the entire afternoon has slipped away. We’re exploring this strange phenomenon in a series of Equestrian Time Warps. We’ve already gone to the tack shop and a horse show, but now it’s time to visit that ultimate black hole of hours: the barn itself.

4:30 PM: Quitting time … I’m officially off the clock and on my way to the barn!

4:32 PM: Hi there, coworker who parks next to me! Why yes, I do have plans, thanks for asking so politely! I’m on way to the barn to visit Prancer, but I’ll probably just take him out on a light hack because I promised Significant Other/Family Member/Roommate that I’d make dinner tonight by 6:30, well, let’s say 7:00 at the latest, but I really want to get Prancer out because we just went to the Big Name Trainer clinic last weekend and I’ve got to make sure that what we learned sticks in our brains so we’re ready for show season which starts next weekend at the fairgrounds —

4:33 PM: Well, that was rude, he just got in his car and left!

4:52 PM: Home sweet barn! Fun, looks like a couple of other boarders are here too. Well, I’ll grab Prancer’s halter from the tack room and go fetch him from the pasture.

4:55 PM: Oh hey, Fellow Boarder! Did you love the Big Name Trainer clinic this weekend? I agree, that exercise with the bend/counter-bend was amazing and your horse really seemed to do well with it. Don’t mind me changing into my breeches while we catch up.

4:58 PM: Good idea, I WILL pull up a tack trunk and sit down to discuss this clinic at length with you.

5:06 PM: Oh, is it 5:00 already? Yeah, let’s head out to the pasture and bring the guys in.

5:09 PM: Prancer, did you lose ANOTHER bell boot? Good thing I ordered a new pair last week. To the crossties, buddy! We’ve only got time for a little hack today.

5:10 PM: *singing* Prancer is the best horse, he loves it when I groom him, he’s tickly on his girth line, he loves his favorite coooookies …

5:18 PM: Oh man, my bottle of fly spray is empty. Stand up here, buddy, while I run back to the tack room to top this one off.

5:19 PM: Hey, Best Friend! When did you sneak in here? Yeah, definitely let’s ride in the outdoor. Fellow Boarder is here too, we were thinking we were going to practice that exercise from the Big Name Trainer clinic.

5:20 PM: Uh, definitely we need to discuss the clinic AT LENGTH right now in the tack room.

5:26 PM: Oh right, I did leave Prancer on the crossties. Whoops!

5:27 PM: Thanks for pooping in the tack stall, Prancer.

5:28 PM: Of course the muck tub is overflowing … it’s always overflowing. Hey, Fellow Boarder, do you mind grabbing the other handle so we can schlep this out to the muck pile?

5:31 PM: Phew, that was a workout.

5:34 PM: All done with the fly spray, Prancer! Let’s see, I’m wearing the blue top, so that means the blue plaid saddle pad and the navy polo wraps.

5:36 PM: Oh man, I forgot that I took the navy polos home to wash. What else goes with this shirt??

5:37 PM: Baker plaid goes with everything.

5:40 PM: All tacked up and ready to ride! Let’s hit the outdoor. Just a short hack today, Prancer.

5:54 PM: Fellow Boarder, your guy looks GREAT! Yeah, of course I can video, hang on.

5:57 PM: No, do it again, it didn’t come out well.

6:01 PM: Oh, that was naughty! Better do it again. I’m still videoing, don’t worry.

6:03 PM: Yeah, can you video me? Thanks! I’ll go do that same exercise.

6:06 PM: Was he a little stiff through that corner though? Let me see that video.

6:08 PM: Hmm, yeah, I better go try it again.

6:12 PM: You need a quiet trail buddy to get your greenie out there, Best Friend? Sure, no problem, Fellow Boarder’s horse and Prancer are super on the trail! We’ll come out with you.

6:13 PM: Home by 6:30? Yeah, but it’s just a short trail ride. I’ll be home in plenty of time. I did say 7:00 at the latest.

6:33 PM: See? I’ve just got to hose Prancer down, turn him back out, and I’ll be home.

6:38 PM: Want a cookie, Prancer? Who’s the best horse? Who wants another cookie?

6:39 PM: Okay, time for you to go back out for the night.

6:42 PM: Bye, Prancer! I love you! I’ll see you tomorrow!

6:43 PM: Aw, he’s so pretty to watch when he trots away like that.

6:44 PM: I’ve got time to oil my stirrup leathers real quick, right? They were kind of stiff.

6:48 PM: Hey, barn manager! Sure, I can help you unload grain!

6:59 PM: Whew, that was a lot of bags.

7:00 PM: Uh oh, I’ve got to go … it’s already 7.

7:01 PM: Well, I did say between 7 and 7:30. Didn’t I?

7:02 PM: You’re right, Fellow Boarder, we didn’t pick the arena. Let’s teamwork it and it’ll go faster.

7:05 PM: Hi, New Boarder! Yeah, we can look at him on the lunge and see if he’s off, no problem.

7:07 PM: He looks okay this way .. reverse direction?

7:09 PM: Yeah, he might be a little off in the right hind.

7:10 PM: You say left hind, Fellow Boarder?

7:11 PM: Yeah, I’ll go grab Barn Manager and she can look too.

7:15 PM: Oh, you think it’s his back? That could be it.

7:18 PM: Yeah, here’s the number for the chiropractor. Actually, if he’s coming out, can we put Prancer on the list too?

7:22 PM: Yup! That’s what Big Name Trainer suggested at the clinic this weekend too! Do you know any good equine masseuses?

7:24 PM: You’ll have to come with us the next time he has a clinic! Let me tell you about this exercise we did …

Go riding.

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