Equestrian Time Warp: Horse Show Edition

Flickr/Five Furlongs/CC

Doesn’t it seem like there’s some sort of spell on the clock when you’re with your horse, talking about your horse or doing something for your horse’s benefit? You swear it’s only been a few minutes, but when you check the clock, the entire afternoon has slipped away. We’re exploring this strange phenomenon in a series of Equestrian Time Warps: last time, we visited the tack shop. Today, we’re headed to the horse show.

4:30 AM: *smacks bedside table in general proximity to beeping phone alarm*

4:33 AM: *sits bolt upright, suddenly remembering why the alarm is set so early*

4:34 AM: But you know what, it’s only a schooling show … no rush, right?

4:35 AM: *snoooooore*

4:39 AM: *blindly reaches for phone to turn off the snooze alarm* Who is texting me this early in the morning? “Are you up?” Yes, Show Buddy, I am. Sheesh. The show doesn’t start until 8.

4:45 AM: So pleased that I remembered to lay out my clothes last night.

4:46 AM: And so pleased to discover the cat has been sleeping on them all night long.

4:54 AM: I get extra-credit for finding the lint roller that early in the morning. And I’m only 9 minutes late! Show Buddy, stop texting me, I’m on my way to the barn right now.

5:18 AM: Gooooood morning Prancer! I see you slept in poop again. That’s so helpful for show morning.

5:29 AM: There, that looks much better. My show breeches have now perhaps seen better days, however.

5:35 AM: Ok, eat up, Prancer! We have a big day ahead of us.

5:36 AM: You want to check the trailer tack room again, Show Buddy? I’m sure we have everything, we packed it last night.

5:38 AM: Oh, no, you’re right … a bridle would have been a good thing to pack.

5:39 AM: There, now do we have everything?

5:52 AM: Horses are loaded, pre-show playlist is rocking this truck, and we are headed to a horse show!

5:55 AM: Heck yes, we’re stopping at Dunkin Donuts first. We’ve got loads of time.

6:01 AM: Do you think we’ll fit through the drive-thru?

6:02 AM: I WAS JUST KIDDING. Sheesh.

6:11 AM: Now we’re ready to horse show.

6:28 AM: I could have sworn this show grounds was only 20 minutes from home. Does this look familiar to you?

6:29 AM: … because I really don’t want to have to turn this bumper-pull around.

6:30 AM: Yes, I know the warm-up hunter is the first class.

6:31 AM: IT’S BEEN FOREVER AND I STILL DON’T SEE THE SHOW GROUNDS AND WE ARE GOING TO MISS ALL OF THE CLASSES.

6:32 AM: Oh, there it is. That was agonizing.

6:36 AM: Yes! The perfect parking spot on the hill over the show ring so we can watch all the action.

6:37 AM: … oh right, this is also the furthest spot away from the water spigot. Oh well, guess we’re hiking those buckets today.

6:38 AM: No, we got this. You hang up the hay nets, I’ll go fill the buckets, and then you can tack up and I’ll go do our entries.

6:45 AM: Oh man, my show breeches had just started to dry from this morning.

6:49 AM: That was the heaviest walk of my life! You’re welcome, beautiful horses, drink up all of the water.

6:50 AM: Yikes, the show starts at 8, right? Maybe we should go warm up first, and then do our entries.

6:51 AM: You’re right, that IS an excellent plan.

7:02 AM: All tacked up, got my tall boots on, time to go and warm up, Prancer!

7:03 AM: OMG, this schooling ring is a circus. LEFT to LEFT, people!

7:10 AM: Hey, pony kid … you’re tailgating. Scram.

7:11 AM: Hey, pony kid, your pony BITES!

7:12 AM: Sorry, Prancer.

7:37 AM: Hey Show Buddy! Yeah, Prancer feels great. We’re going to head back up to the trailer.

7:38 AM: What entries?

7:39 AM: Oh yeah, those entries. Okay, I’ll hold Star and Prancer, and you can run in there real fast.

7:42 AM: Hey! You two get along fine at home.

7:45 AM: Huh, Show Buddy is frantically waving me down. Boys, fight nicely, we have to get over to the line outside the office.

7:46 AM: Yeah, Show Buddy, I know entries close ten minutes before the class … stay in line, we’ll make it!

7:48 AM: Is she actually bribing that trainer to let her skip ahead in line?

7:51 AM: I can’t believe you did that! But hey, our entries our in. Nice work. And the first class is in a few minutes, so I guess we should just stay down here at the ring.

7:53 AM: Oh, you are right, we did leave our show coats up at the trailer. No, it’s okay, I’ll just run.

7:57 AM: Okay *gasp* here you go *wheeze* I made it back in time.

7:59 AM: What did the announcer just say?

8:00 AM: Oh, they pushed the start time back by half an hour. Go figure …