Because it’s no fun having so many breeds of horses if you can’t exploit their strengths and weaknesses every once in a while.
Pros: Arabians are very elegant and known for their stamina; they are extremely smart and they excel in a variety of different disciplines.
Cons: They look uber-feminine, their heads resemble the shape of a dolphin, they are over-reactive and they snort their noses way too much. The Marlboro man wouldn’t be caught dead on an Arabian.
Pros: Known for their athletic ability, Thoroughbreds excel at racing, show jumping and cross-country.
Cons: They are so tenderfooted you will have to carry them across the rocks; they’ve got jello for brains and sometimes you can’t even give them away.
Pros: Tall, dark and handsome.
Cons: You don’t make enough money to own one.
4. Quarter Horses
Pros: The Quarter horse comes in a variety of shapes and colors. They are the jack-of-all-trades in the horse world.
Cons: Everyone owns one. Owning a Quarter horse is like owning a pair of khakis. Boooring!
Pros: Mules are smart and surefooted, tend to be healthier than horses and live longer.
Cons: They will outsmart you and possibly kick your teeth out.
Pros: They are big and powerful and can pull heavy loads.
Cons: Big horses=big poops. If they step on your foot, you’re screwed.
Pros: Ooooh … shiny!
Cons: Do these animals even exist? If they do, for the love of God, give them a hamburger.
Pros: They’re cute, hardy and are the perfect size for children or little people.
Cons: They are perfect for children if you hate your kid. They are sneaky and always plotting your demise.
Pros: Donkeys make great livestock protectors; they are smart and can be trained to do almost everything a horse can do.
Cons: They are loud … super loud. Your neighbors will hate you more than they already probably do.
Pros: Paints are like Quarter horses: they also are the jack of all trades. They resemble the color of a cow.
Cons: Don’t be surprised if you catch Farmer John trying to milk your Paint. If you want to ride a cow, buy a cow.
Do you own a breed that’s not on the list? Give them the tongue-in-cheek pros and cons treatment in the comments section!