You all should consider a career in marketing awful horses.
In response to our post on some of the best equine euphemisms we could come up with, you readers totally showed us up. I am truly afraid of what lurks beneath whatever sales ads you all would write.
Horse is very athletic. He can buck, bolt, bite, rear and kick….all at the same time.
Jumps anything you want. As a bonus, he’ll also jump things you don’t want, like paddock gates or the butt bar of the trailer.
Totally bombproof. Because he’s deaf, blind, and three-legged lame.
Clips, hauls, loads. As in, “clippety clop” is the sound he makes as he hauls a** when you try to load him.
Horse has very expressive gaits. That no mortal human can possibly sit.
Green, but a good reining prospect. The horse spins on a dime, but does it on the trail…because of a bike…or stroller..or really, anything…
Amazing under saddle. On the ground, watch out.
Horse is very forward-thinking. Walks really fast. Prefers to run. Will challenge a herd of deer and a couple of bears to a race. On. Every. Single. Trail ride.
Occasional silly moments, but basically a good guy. Just like ax murderers are basically good when they’re not going completely psychotic.
Green broke, just needs finishing. Horse will take a saddle, not a rider.