2016 Best of HN #6: 12 Ways to Get Kicked Out of the Boarding Barn

Boarding barn owners might be a special kind of saint — Maria Wachter gathers this list of real examples of ways to get kicked out of the boarding barn, as told by boarding barn owners!

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We asked boarding barn owners to share their biggest pet peeves, based on their own experiences:

1. You are late on your board payment … every … single … month. You need at least three reminders from the barn owner to pay it every time.

2. You have a knack for turning on the water and forgetting to turn it off. Thanks to you, the boarding facility now has lake-front property and a dry well.

3. When you go to visit your beloved Buttercup after the sun goes down, you insist on turning on all the arena lights, even though you do not use the arena. Somehow you always forget to turn them off.

4. You have the perfect horse, but insist on buying your husband the cribbing, weaving, pacing, pawing, kicking and hard-to-keep stallion … even though he hates to ride. Of course you’re going to board the stallion where your perfect horse is stabled — that way you can ride together!

5. You think it’s funny every time your horse drops manure in the middle isle of the barn. You’re not cleaning THAT up, that’s what you pay the barn owner for. Same goes for your clippings, horse hair sheds and hoof dirt.

6. You have to bring your 5 obnoxious, horse-hating dogs with you to the barn every time. The “no dogs allowed” rule doesn’t apply to you, because they’re service dogs, in training.

7. You love to feed treats to all the other horses. Those poor foundered horses definitely need a treat to remind them that they are still loved.

8. You forgot to close the gate … again. Oops.

9. You prefer to catch your horse with a bucket of grain and think it’s cute when 20 other horses charge after you.

10. Two words describe you: drama llama. You love to get all up in your fellow boarders’ business, especially when no one was asking for your opinion.

11. You’re the type that likes to show up twice a year and complain that your hard-keeping toothless 25-year-old is looking a little “ribby” and has a matted coat.

12. You call yourself a horse whisperer and try to train other boarders’ horses when they aren’t around to tell you to shove off.

As always, there are two sides to every story… check out “14 Signs It Might Be Time to Change Boarding Barns“!

Have anything to add to the list? On the flip side, do you have any advice to be the best boarder ever? Let us know in the comments section!