Kentucky Performance Products Presents Thoroughbred Logic: How to Kill a Sale

If you’re looking to horse shop, here are three sure-fire ways to kill a sale before you ever get a chance to lay eyes on the horse.

Welcome to the next installment of Thoroughbred Logic. In this weekly series, Anthropologist and trainer Aubrey Graham, of Kivu Sport Horses, offers insight and training experience when it comes to working with Thoroughbreds (although much will apply to all breeds). This week ride along as Aubrey shares her logic on thins you should not do when buying a horse. 

Selling horses regularly turns lovely humans into exceptionally grumpy pains in the asses. I am 100% no exception to that rule. Hell, when selling my Thoroughbreds, I sometimes have to remind people that I am in this for the horses, not necessarily for the people.

To ensure a happy horse ,though, I need to make sure the humans are the right fit, and that they will be more than pleased with the horse — potential, experience, vices and all. If I do my job well, it is a win-win and the start of a positive spiral. Because a happy horse makes happy people, makes happy horse, makes happy people and so on and on.

Hamster (Bromista) moved quickly from here as he was just so easy going and talented. Photo by Lily Drew.

I cannot tell you how awesome it is when it works and someone reaches out with a random update. Yesterday, I got one on the horse, Hamster (Bromista), who I had sold a month or so to a lovely rider. The text she sent me started with “I f*cking love this horse!!!!” That right there totally made my day.

There is a lot of positivity in selling Thoroughbreds, sure. But probably unsurprisingly, selling horses in general makes people grumpy. Really, ridiculously, hag-like grumpy sometimes.

William (Moro Drama) featured here, as I remind myself that I love my job on repeat. I mean, I really do love it, or I would not do this. Photo by Lily Drew.

To avoid this, I — like many — request both how I’d like people to interact and the information I’d like them to provide so that I can try to match-make and find them a suitable horse. That info is literally in every ad I write. And although things often go well, there’s also all of those interactions that don’t.

See last paragraph for instructions… (Ad of Pudding (Taporical) published recently @APGraham on Facebook.

For some, shopping for horses is still perceived like dealing with used cars salesmen of the 1970s — slicked down hair, plenty o’gimmicks and smooth language, and lots of lemons that might make it off the lot but not make it too far. For the buyers, you can see this perspective when they are in the clear “hunt to see if you’re a scam” phase (um, just google us instead, 0r maybe reach out for references…?), and then the “show them who is in charge” stage (maybe just ask good questions and be nice?). Insert teenage style eye roll there.

I’d rather reset the metric to an interaction where power and need are shared between buyer and seller, and if everyone is aiming for the good of the horse, things tend to work out as they should.

Magic’s (Mr. Magico) happy dance about things hopefully working out as they should (currently he’s on the eventing track here and will be up for sale again once he’s cruising up the levels). Photo by author.

But for myriad reasons — when folks are new to this, or maybe have had negative experiences in the past — buyer-seller interactions sometimes go sideways. So, said with all the kindness out there, I’m going to be really painfully direct. This article is about how one can kill a sale before it even gets close to a trial ride or bill of sale. Sure, I’ll provide positive ideas for how to do it better, but part of this is basically a “just don’t do this sh*t.”

**Yes, there are other sides to this story, including how not be a crappy seller, etc., but since I only have so many words and a whole bunch of grump, today is about what not to do.

Here are the basics: 1) Read! 2) Do. Not. Snap. At. Servers. 3) Leave the entitlement at home.

First and foremost, read the ad first — the whole ad. Seriously. If there’s a link, follow it. If there’s a video, watch it. And if you missed something, and ask about it, that’s totally fine — it happens. But for the love of all things, do not one-word demand things, especially if they are already in the ad. “Videos” or “Price” or “Location” or “Pictures of feet” (three words, but you get the point) will immediately get you on the “You’re rude. No sale.” list.

I’m worried about how many already answered questions I’ll have to deal with if I ever decide to list Enzo (Midnight Trouble). Photo by Lily Drew.

Second, be kind to your servers. When I finished my first post-doc, I was between jobs and went back to waitressing. The restaurant I worked at was a fantastic place staffed by smart, creative types. We usually had great customers, but when the errant asshat would show up and literally snap for attention, you had better bet I pretended not to see them and walked the other way … slowly. Tip be damned.

Why? Because I value kindness and equality in interactions even if there is a perceived power differential.

Similarly, I want my horses to go to people who are polite, understanding, and considerate. You can ask questions about all of the things, absolutely (even if they are already in the ad). You can also request hoop jumping like more video and photos, etc. But adding a full sentence around it and some additional polite context makes a big difference. So does an introduction.

The forelock on Patriotic Party definitely brought some folks out of the woodwork. Photo by Lily Drew.

“Hi there, I’m xyz, and I’m interested in horse ABC. Do you have any additional videos you might be able to send? Thanks!” Keeps a conversation open. Better yet if the buyer mentions a bit about their goals and their experience on Thoroughbreds.

Simply texting, “Video” just irritates me.

Circling back around, read the ad. Just do it. Everyone who writes these puts so much effort into providing all the information about the horse. At least make an effort to read them. I have gotten to the point of no f*cks given where sometimes when folks are particulary rude and don’t read the ad, I sometimes simply screenshot the part of the ad back to them. That usually should indicate that there’s only the rare snowball’s chance in hell of me selling them the horse.

Felix the pony opened up a whole other can of worms as Pony, Cute, and Colored drove a totally different type of buyers my way. I’m excited that he’s off to my old farm in Georgia and to Sarah Edward’s training. Photo by Lily Drew.

On one hand, this is me not having patience for this level of time-wasting anymore. On the other, more important hand, this is about the horse’s future: If someone can’t find their way through an ad intended to help orient a buyer to a horse, how can I expect that they will be able to problem solve through owning a Thoroughbred? Interactions that show that someone has done none of the legwork, followed none of the directions, and done no additional research but wants immediate answers gives me absolutely zero confidence in their ability to bring along a young, often not-uncomplicated 1200 lb animal. And demanding things based on assumed entitlement tells me a lot about a buyer’s forthcoming training strategy.

A few days ago, a person messaged, told me they were interested in a horse I have for sale and then said (or maybe demanded (?)), “Call me.”

I am definitely not the type to take orders well, but I also hate wasting time. Sometimes dozens of people are messaging about the same horse. I neither sit in a call center, nor do I actually sit down at all during the day. I don’t have time for calls unless I’m driving and need to kill time.

Can’t hop on a call because maybe I’m on this guy (Artie – Reunion Tour) beasting across cross country, or slugging water buckets in the barn, or leading horses in or out, or any myriad thing one has to do with two hands and a bit of focus. Photo by Kamu Dishmon.

I responded with, “I’m sorry, I never really have time for a phone call, but I am very happy to answer any of your questions by text. Please feel free to send them and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” This garnered a small rant about how if I can’t get on a phone call I must be a scam. OK. Sure. You do you. I simply replied that if that is how you need to feel comfortable to engage with a seller you’ll probably do better to look elsewhere. And I don’t feel like I lost a sale. I feel like my horses dodged a bullet.

Third, drop the entitlement. Sellers do not have to sell a person their horse. We all want to sell horses to people who are kind, polite, thorough, and sane. Interactions with us tell us how a buyer will be with the horses. Are you curious and willing when met with something that is not how you expected it to go? Or are you belligerent and entitled? Well, I figure I have a good sense of how things might go during training hiccups based on these interactions.

Yep, he’s pretty handsome (Boston, aka Patriotic Party). Photo by Lily Drew.

I prefer to interact by text. I have a friend who prefers to talk to each of her buyers on the phone. Others prefer their messages only through WhatsApp. It doesn’t matter which it is. Just as buyers are allowed to desire the unicorn of their dreams with all of their stipulations, sellers get to determine how and when interactions happen. Some are open on weekends, some only during the week days. Some allow trial rides, some do not.

As an Anthropologist, the tensions present in the buyer-seller relationship and modes of interaction are interesting. There’s a push and pull to the power dynamic here. Economically, the buyer has the power, but the seller has the horse and control over access. In the world of selling Thoroughbreds, and of the responsible folks I know,  we’re in this for the horses, which shifts the power scale just a titch more towards the seller because it’s not about making the money the buyer has to pay, but finding the right buyer for the particular horse.

We absolutely need buyers to survive. But not at the cost of the horse or our sanity.

William schooling outside and hopefully turning all the right heads. Photo by Lily Drew.

Like at the restaurant, and put grumpily and bluntly, “The establishment retains the right to refuse service.”

And equally, of course, any buyer reserves the right to walk elsewhere if they don’t like the menu or how things are done.

But I don’t want to have to refuse service. I just want good, kind buyers. Honestly, I wish I could say that I’d only sell my horses to the type of people I’d like to get a beer with. But that might be a particularly narrow margin of humans. Perhaps more encompassingly, I want my horses to land with people who are horsemen or those who are learning to be. I’d love for them to have kindness, compassion, curiosity, and boundaries, but most importantly, I want them to be appropriate for the horse in question.

Fun photo of Scooter (Star of the Beast) learning to hack the trails around his new farm. He absolutely landed in the most horse-forward, appropriate home and I could not be happier for both Scooter and his new human. Photo by Katelyn Conners.

So go ride folks. And if you’re shopping, don’t be scared of the interactions, just err on the side of kindness. You never know what other buyers a seller already had to talk to today.

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