12 Things We Worry About When We Leave Someone Else in Charge of the Horses (aka Barn Manager Separation Anxiety)

You may have left the farm, but mentally you’re still there — staring at the feed chart, whispering, “Please don’t forget to check the waters.”

Please note: I have A+ barn help and I have very few worries when I am out of town — shout out to my boarders and friends who keep things running smoothly. So this laugh-along list is meant for those other barn managers. Not me… 

Leaving your barn in someone else’s hands is a trust exercise on par with handing a toddler a chainsaw and saying, “Please be careful,” or handing your firstborn to a babysitter and whispering, “Please keep them alive.” Whether it’s for a day, a weekend getaway, or a once-in-a-lifetime vacation, horse owners and barn managers everywhere know the agony of wondering what’s happening back home. You’ve written the feed chart, labeled the scoops, and color-coded the turnout groups — and you still won’t relax until you’re back, counting legs and sniffing grain buckets like a detective.

Photo by DeAnn Long Sloan

Here’s a totally accurate list of what goes through every barn manager’s mind the minute they pull out of the driveway:

1. Will They Feed the Right Horses the Right Feed?
You’ve left detailed instructions, laminated the chart, and taped it directly to the feed bin — but you know someone’s still going to look at “1.5 scoops for the bay gelding in Stall 3” and hand it to the chestnut pony in Stall 5.

2. Did You Explain the Difference Between the Two Chestnut Mares?
“Give the mare with the blaze one flake.”
“There are three mares with blazes.”
“This is fine. Everything’s fine.”

3. Will Anyone Notice a Missing Shoe?
Of course not — at least not until the farrier’s on vacation and your show entry is due.

4. Did They Latch the Gate Right?
You can hear the clink of a loose chain from three states away. Every highway mile feels like one gallop closer to your herd escaping onto Main Street.

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5. Will They Recognize When Something Looks “Off”?
You’ve developed an eye for “that’s not how he usually stands,” but your fill-in help might not catch “slightly different ear angles = impending colic.”

6. Did You Specify “Do NOT Turn Him Out Without a Halter” Enough Times?
Spoiler: you didn’t. Somewhere out there, your fancy gelding is now being wrangled like a feral mustang because “he looked calm enough.”

7. Will They Leave the Hose Running?
You know the sound of running water in your sleep. They, however, will discover it hours later — right about the time your arena becomes a duck pond and your well runs dry.

8. Will They Feed the Scream-First Horse Last?
There’s always one horse that must, under no circumstances, be fed out of order unless you want to hear the song of his people echo across three counties.

9. Will the Goats Escape?
They always do. And they’ll head straight for your clean tack room.

10. Did You Label the Meds Clearly Enough?
You said “the tiny syringe is for the mini.”
Now the mini is galloping laps, and the draft is asleep.

11. Will They Check Blankets, Fences, Water, and Weather… in That Order?
Of course, a freak snowstorm hits the day you leave. And naturally, you’ll get a text that says, “Which blankets go on the bays again?”

12. Do They Understand the Sacred Meaning of ‘Half a Flake’?
You meant half lengthwise. They meant half by enthusiasm. Congratulations, your easy keeper is now shaped like a sausage.

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Bonus Concern:
You’ll come home to find everything “mostly fine” — except for a broken halter, an empty bag of grain that “just ran out,” and one suspiciously muddy pitchfork.

Because let’s face it, horse people don’t relax when they go out of town. We just sit somewhere else, worrying more efficiently.