Fantasy Farm Thursday: $2.4 Million Oregon Farm Is So Totally Hipster

This farm is so hipster, if you enter the property without wearing plaid, you burst into flames.

Screenshot via YouTube.

Nature’s instagram Hudson filter. Screenshot via YouTube.

Whip out your horn rimmed glasses and ironic cowboy boots, friends, because this property needs your Instagram filters so hard right now. Or #nofilter. Whichever makes your little tofu heart flutter. What makes my heart flutter is 99.67 acres in Oregon wine country during the golden hour, complete with a world class equestrian facility, rolling pastures . . . and a hot tub!

Less than an hour from the heart of Hipster Central, the great, weird city of Portland, this property has plenty of space to raise your obscure horse breeds nobody has heard of yet, cultivate your own organic free range hens, and grow non-GMO 19th century heirloom tomatoes. There are forty acres of pasture, forty more acres of range land, and several sections already designated for crop space within that to harvest all the quinoa your gut can handle. (And according to the movie voice-over, there’s a tractor-sharing program, which is both helpful and so totally hipster.)

The barn and arenas are obviously phenomenal, featuring a 90′ x 200′ indoor arena with all the fancy fixins, 21 rubber-matted indoor stalls, and beautiful tack and storage facilities – a must for your future year-round equine yoga business.

Screenshot via YouTube.

Screenshot via YouTube.

Screenshot via YouTube.

Screenshot via YouTube.

There are also three workshops/storage buildings which could easily be converted into a music studio for your “emerging” singer/songwriter career, an onsite barbershop that offers straight edge shaves and waxed mustache tutorials, or an exotic pet rescue.

For the hipsters into super obscure equestrian Americana, you’ll love that this farm used to have a stage coach road that ran right through the middle of the property in the 1800s that traversed from the historic town of Yamhill all the way to the coast. (Okay, even if you’re not a hipster into super obscure equestrian Americana, that’s pretty cool.)

There are two beautiful residences on the property — a two story farmhouse with all sorts of diagonal barnwood and exposed beaming, as well as a similarly rustic guest bunk that your slacker hipster friends with no jobs are absolutely going to love until you evict them for being squatters and get new friends.

One of two residences on the property. Dogs not included. I'm guessing. Screenshot via YouTube.

One of two residences on the property. Dogs not included. I’m guessing. Screenshot via YouTube.

All this can be yours for $2.4 million, or approximately 480,000 copies of your band’s last experimental sounds album. You can find out more about this beautiful property — hipster or not — by visiting the original listing. And if you need a dirty hipster to come run your new 100-acre Oregon farm for you,┬áthis is me drinking small-batch profile-roasted coffee from a handmade mug this morning:

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On Thursdays we wear plaid. Just kidding, we wear plaid every day. Nice half-rims, you dirty hipster.

Go Hipsters, and Go Riding.

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