Dear John: The HN Staff Christmas Wish List

We got together as a staff this year and decided to ask our long-suffering publisher John for just one thing. One teeny-weeny little thing. That’s not so much to ask, right?

Working for Horse Nation is truly a dream job: I get to write about funny or weird horse stuff for the internet and share news and stories with the world’s greatest readers. I mean, you guys get me: we all have the same equestrian problems and we’ve all finally found a place where it’s 100% okay to talk about them. I read the stuff that my fellow horseback writers are publishing on Horse Nation and laugh out loud — if you haven’t noticed, my coworkers are hilarious. Really, I forget sometimes that it’s actually a job at all.

But there’s one small thing I would change. Horse Nation, being, well, nation-wide, has no headquarters. That’s right — if you had images of all of working happily away in one central office, photos of our horses hanging like posters in the hallways, exchanging casual small-talk at the coffee maker about how Amanda’s polo match went that weekend or how Leslie’s pony Mishka did something silly to embarrass her again, you’ve created a fairyland in your head that doesn’t exist.

So this year, in lieu of gifts, we’re asking John, our much-beloved publisher, for just one small little thing: HN HQ.

We’ve already picked out the property:

I mean, COME ON. This place is perfect:

  • For the Leslies, Jenni, Sally, Lorraine and our other eventing contributors, there’s no shortage of space for cross-country. (As Sally requested, “a four-star course, please. Also beginner novice.”)
  • For Morgane and Biz, there’s a designated dressage-only arena.
  • For Amanda, there’s plenty of room for polo fields, as well as access to the nearby Jackson Hole Polo Club.
  • For Maria and Candace, our resident trail riders, there’s miles of untouched wilderness in almost every direction.
  • And for me, look at all of the cows I can chase.

Yep, this place has it all, as well as a heated 30-stall barn, a covered roundpen, an indoor, many outdoors and plenty of lodging for all of us.

Of course, there are a few small suggestions from various members of staff (in addition to Sally’s BN/4* cross-country course):

  • “A ride-in outdoor movie screen.” –Lorraine
  • “All the ponies we’ve ever wanted.” –Leslie T.
  • “The models from the Horses and Hunks calendars as personal butlers.” –Sally
  • “Delivery of custom SmartPak-inspired ‘SnackPaks’ for the staff. Like mine would have a bagel bite in one well, Skittles in another well, nacho cheese in another, etc. And maybe also an open bar.” –Leslie W.

So how about it, John? Haven’t we been good this year?

Dream big, Horse Nation. Merry Christmas and Go Riding!

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