Why Horse People Should Theoretically Be Awesome at Christmas Lights
Untangling is one of those magical, unspoken skills of the true horseman. So clearly, we should have the best Christmas lights on the block! Right?
You know what I’m talking about. Your fingers are as dexterous with leather as a surgeon is with sinew.
You can take this:
And turn it into THIS: (with your eyes closed and a hand behind your back; thanks, Pony Club)
In fact, that’s nothing. This old thing?
Give any cowboy worth half his salt five minutes and he’ll have it like THIS:
In about an hour, you’ll have a box of this:
So, in theory, that giant box of last year’s hastily stashed Christmas lights should be quivering in fear about the can of [email protected] you’re about to unleash here in perfectly clean and orderly awesomeness. This is your house, right?
Except, you’ve been at the barn all day, and 3 of the water heaters shorted, and the horses all destroyed their blankets overnight, and the washrack pipes froze and then flooded and then froze again so there’s an ice rink in the aisle way and Joey colicked and your mom called 8 times to remind you not to wear paddock boots to Aunt Lily’s Cocktail Christmas Party like LAST YEAR and there’s hay in your bra, so yeah, probably your Christmas lights are all:
Happy Holidays, Horse Nation, and Go Riding!
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