Sorry, everyone — what has been seen cannot be unseen. You have been warned.
We’ll go easy on you and warm up with a few spelling errors and general typos … like this one, from Carrie:
Or this more expensive error, from Jill:
Spelling creativity abounds in this ad from Maddie:
… but then we cross the line between creativity and confusion with this ad from Kelly:
Freisen sport horse now offered for free lease at approved home. Gelding about 16 plus hands, teens. Gentle, personable, not for a rank beginner but possibly with a trainer. More whoa than go. Needs a job. Possible sale. References required.
We genuinely can’t tell if this next ad is some kind of strange joke, or if it’s totally legit … from Maria:
Hi to everyone who loves equines,
I’m selling my flea bitten Palomino, He is looking for his 9th new owner, someone who likes to ride and is good at it. I don’t know about his teeth, but he uses them to eat. The previous owner was going to prison and told me he was about 14 years old. My friends tell me he is about 25? I don’t know?
He is about 14.3 -15 hands high depending on what he is standing on. His eyeballs are brown with dirty blonde mane and knotted up tail….too many dingle berries. He eats whatever is in his feeder.
He also cribs on the west side of his stall I’m told when the sun is going down, sounds crazy I know.
He prefers male farriers as long as they smell good. He doesn’t like his right hoof picked up so it is kind of grown out a bit over the months. I bought him about a year ago but never got around to buying a saddle, my bad there. I’ll post pictures as soon as I get a phone once you buy him.
I can’t always respond to e-mails since I’m on restrictions on computer use from my nagging wife. A friend of mine has been boarding and feeding him. I typically see him only on odd days and not during the week since my shifts at the casino are always changing.
He needs work on his ground manners. He can stand for hours and sometimes doesn’t want to move so you may get stuck if he won’t move. I’ve walked him and nothing scared him like dogs, cars and people. I don’t know about him and trailers since he was dropped off in a landscape trailer.
My ride is here early for work, I’ll come back and add more later. Stayed tuned folks!!
Need a ride for your new Craigslist find? Check out these beauties, including this one from Maria:
Or this one from Kaylon: “Need I say more?”
Our next featured horse genuinely looks like a nice guy, but we can’t help but giggle at his headline. From Erika:
This next ad, however … from Kimmy:
This next ad begs the question of what exactly we’re buying … from Mayflower:
Hey, when you’re selling a horse, it’s important to cover all of your bases and make sure the buyer knows exactly what they’re getting — like baked goods. From Stephanie:
If this next guy looks familiar to you, you’re absolutely right. Someone please take him home! From Hannah: “Found this pony a few weeks back and commented that he looked like he belonged in a “best of craigslist” ad! I was just looking through the 2014 “Best of Craigslist awards and found him in there! He is still looking for a home!”
Murdoch is 38 inches tall and estimated to be 5 years old. I would say he is black and white but the sun faded his coat and he looks really dark brown and white. I got him as a stud (unknown at the time). For being a stud he was very well mannered. He was gelded in May and has healed. Worked on ground work. Loves checking everything out; walks over tarps, through plastic pool, drags feed bags, lunges well etc. Gets along with my other minis and horses. Great pony I just am too big to break him out and I dont have kids yet so no reason to keep him without a job. Don’t trust him 100% to be left alone with kids without supervision. If uncertain he will spin his butt but has never kicked. Can be shy around ears and herd sour as previously a stud. UTD, wormed 7/16, farrier was out 7/16 and had a coggins pulled last October.
And we’ll conclude this week’s collection with this photo and write-up that need no help from us … from Taelor:
Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected] Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.