How many of these equestrian life skills have YOU mastered?
Equestrians: we’re a lean, mean breed with the guts and ability to work with a thousand-pound animal and make it look easy. We regularly get run over, thrown from heights, bruised, banged up and generally maltreated by those thousand-pound animals, but we get right back up and take it all over again for the love of our sport. We get up early. We stay up late. We spend way too much money and all of our spare time.
And these critical life skills are what we have to show for it: tally up how many of these slick moves you’ve mastered and see if you’ve reached pro status:
Catching your horse’s manure in a shovel before it hits the floor.
Carrying three saddles, four bridles, six saddle pads and a grooming box, at the same time.
Holding the gate while leading your horse out of the pasture while keeping four other horses from running through.
Recalling arbitrary information like your AQHA’s entire pedigree or your OTTB’s track record.
Falling off of your horse and landing on your feet.
Knowing all of the local tack store employees on a first-name basis.
Landing the hay into the feeder from the barn aisle.
Capturing a loose horse with an old candy wrapper and a sweatshirt.
Fixing a bridle in a pinch with baling twine (and riding with it.)
Hitting the wheelbarrow with a forkful of manure from across the stall.
Popping a wedged rock out of a shoe with your bare hands.
Memorizing the location of every gas station with easy access to the diesel pump.
Using a stirrup leather for a belt.
Count ’em up, Horse Nation! Have you reached #prostatus? Share your results on our forums, Equestrians Anonymous, set up specifically for hopelessly-addicted horse people just like you.