If Your Horse Wrote Your Sales Ad

Really puts your own “horse wanted ad” in perspective…it’s a very good thing horses haven’t figured out how to type!


Photo: Evrything

We’ve all seen ridiculously picky horse-wanted ads… you know the type:

Looking for a warmblood packer at Novice level between the ages 10-12 and 16.2 or taller. Must be bombproof with no buck, rear, or bolt, NO MARES. Prefer dapple grays. Budget is $2500.

But what if the tables were turned and your horse could write his or her own ad describing you?

Lilly Pond Foal Rescue asked just that question on their Facebook page recently with hilarious results.

Thanks to Christina Tabacco Weber for the tip!


Here are some of our faves:

This Ole gray mare aint what she used to be but has many more miles on her. Good temperment BUT can have an ocassional ‘mare’ moment with no warning.. Very easy keeper, just looks at hay and gains weight.. so needs regular exercise.. Best suited for pleasure trail riding.. sure footed and loves to just trot along.“–Bernice Crossley

Mine would say had too many previous injuries to mention, should have been shot years ago, persistently lame and inclined to drink from a hip flask when she thinks no ones looking. Apart from all this can still turn out well and put in a hard days work…provided no one upsets her.“–Judith Connor


Flickr: lostinfog/ CC


That depends on which horse you ask. My mare would say…”short tempered but gets over it without exploding, easy keeper, pasture condition. Wears shoes when in work and needs a consistent job. My colt would say “resilient, boss mare, persistent and hard worker…actually, you cant have my human. She comes with cookies.”–Rubie Headley

“Spunky mare, bay, expressive eyes. Occasional mare moments when deprived of chocolate. Loves snow. Requires variety of winter blankets for every occasion. May need professional groomer to tame mane.”–Mona Wheeler

Middle aged, lazy, temperamental, and hungry. Needs heated barn, thick blankets and a cuddle buddy at all times-barn sour.“–Lori Long

So good!


In addition to asking hard-hitting questions with a healthy dose of humor, Lilly Pond Foal Rescue in Dunkirk, MD is dedicated to rehabilitating and rehoming foals and horses from the PMU and nurse mare industries, where foals are sometimes taken from their dams as soon as 30 days after birth. Like them on Facebook to follow their adventures or check out their online wish list to see how you can help their mission!


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