Love her or hate her, the T-Swift brought our dreams to life and has horses living in her bedroom in her new vid for “Blank Space.”
In case shots from this video aren’t yet blowing up your newsfeed, let me introduce you to Taylor Swift’s latest work, “Blank Space” from her new album 1989.
As Ms. Swift has already said in another recently-released single, “haters gonna hate” and I’m sure there’s plenty of folks pointing the finger right now and chalking this one up as yet another T-Swizz breakup song. But this video is actually genius: she’s taking all of pop culture’s stereotypes about herself and celebrating them, showing the world that despite all the things the magazines, websites and tabloids say about her, she’s actually very self-aware.
But though I could write about my slight obsession with Taylor Swift as a pop figure for hours upon hours, it’s Horse Nation, after all, not Taylor Swift Nation (but seriously, could we have one of those?) So we’ll move on to some of the best eye candy of the four minutes and thirty-two seconds of awesome you’ve just watched. (Sean O’Pry, Taylor’s dresses and the jaw-dropping estate on which this video is filmed are close runners-up in the eye candy category.)
Taylor and Sean play the storybook couple who seem to do nothing but peacock around their beautiful mansion and its grounds, doing such luxe things as picnicking on the lawn, painting yet another portrait for the endless gallery walls, and riding their big white horses on perfectly-manicured lanes. (Is this an adult throwback to “White Horse”? No metaphor is too small.) But while the rest of the couples’ material possessions fall prey to Taylor’s eventual and inevitable total meltdown (she is absolutely ruthless with a golf club) the horses escape destruction.
Now, while the very obvious answer is that no one would love Taylor Swift anymore if she hurt a horse in the name of art, I theorize that Ms. Swift, like the rest of us all across Horse Nation, has discovered that horses are the perfect therapy for all of life’s problems, including breaking up with your incredibly hot but maybe unfaithful supermodel boyfriend. The white horses are there to comfort her, hear all of her secrets and be generally supportive with their big, quiet presence.
Don’t worry, I have proof in GIFs to back up my theory:
1. The horses are in her bedroom to comfort her and tell her everything’s okay even though she may have just actually murdered her boyfriend.
2. While the relationship is actually going well for like a minute or so, the horses literally and metaphorically carry the couple (and put up with some questionable equitation from Taylor. Sean actually looks pretty good.)
(We won’t comment on Taylor’s terrible choice in equestrian wear, though I know we all want to.)
3. When Taylor adorably defaces this tree with names in a heart, her horse is there in the background, clearly giving Taylor his blessing while reminded her that he’ll always be there for her.
4. See? When she goes bonkers later and tries to cut the tree down about a minute later, the horse is still there for her.
5. And then Taylor does that thing that we all hate where she stands in the saddle, using the horse as a pedestal and complicated metaphor to show that she’s stronger than any man and has found inner courage and personal responsibility thanks to her trust relationship with this lovely, saintly, well-trained horse.
If this isn’t definitive proof that Taylor Swift has discovered horse therapy, I don’t know what is.