15 Things You Probably Shouldn’t Say Outside the Barn

That is, if the non-horse-crazed person you’re talking to hasn’t glazed over from you detailing your latest dressage lesson.

[Top image from Wikimedia Commons: Lidingo]

Let’s face it. There are just some things that are downright offensive outside of an equestrian context.

“I saw that trainer spank her little Arab when he gave her attitude.”


[Wikimedia Commons: Heather Moreton Abounader]

“Cute ass!”

399px-Burrito_de_páramo_(Páramo_baby_donkey)[Wikimedia Commons: Patricio Mena Vásconez]

And others that will just confirm all of their weird assumptions about you…

“Just show her the crop and she’ll behave so much better.”


[Fantasy Toyland]

“He’s got a bad habit of stepping away when you try to mount him.”



[Wikimedia Commons: SLQbot]

And of course, there are offhand comments that seem normal to you…but will probably make others question your health…

“Do you know if it’s OK to throw out syringes here?”



“I need to pick up 1000 pills of Doxycycline at the pharmacy before I head to the barn.”


[Wikimedia Commons: Ragesoss]

“I think I’m going to take a sick day and go to the clinic.”



But mostly, they’ll probably just think you’re an insane horse person. (Probably because you are.)

“Ohh do you have an itchy butt? Itchy scratchy itchy scratchy…”


[Fotocommunity: Joe Thomissen]

“Aw, why’d you have to roll in your poo again?”


“I think that wall is haunted.”


[Wikimedia Commons: Montanabw ]

“Yeah, he had a fairly successful career–he made around $90k in five years.”

[Wikimedia Commons: Slooby]

“He’s got to keep walking while he poops.”


[Wikimedia Commons: Montanabw]

“My horse was getting a bit long in the toe, so the farrier cut it off.”

[Wikimedia Commons: AnnyLL]

“He was a handful, so we gelded him.”


[Wikimedia Commons: tucul_photo]

“Oh, the foam?  It’s not rabies, I swear!”



Don’t worry about explaining. Just Go Riding!


Leave a Comment


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *