5 Ways to Make Horses the New Cats of The Internet

A 14-second video of a horse making farting noises made Huffington Post the other day. What can we learn from this?

[Top photo: animalsw.com]

It’s cute. But it’s not viral I-must-share-this-wth-my-100-closest-Facebook-friends cute. If horses are ever going to compete with cats on the Internet, we need to step up our game. Here are five ideas we could borrow from our feline friends to make that happen.

1. Make #horseband a thing. Instagram’s #catband is a video series wherein cat owners play their pet like a instrument. You won’t want to like it. But then you will anyway. It’s oddly entertainingly. The best part of this idea is there’s no need to get creative. Just switch out the cat with a horse and boom! Instant #horseband.

Better yet, teach your horse to play an instrument. Via Photoshop.



2. Say it in song. There’s no shortage of love letters to horses online. But how many been songified? NONE. (We’re looking at you Karlie Mitchell.)

3. Wax poetic on horse behavior. Chew patterns on fences. Salt lick impressions. Rolling preferences. The key here is not what you discuss, but that you say it in a vaguely philosophical manner. With classical music.

4. Obsess over body parts. Close up images of kitty body parts, like paws, whiskers and mouths, are another popular phenomenon on the Web. Use macro photo essays to explain the profound perfection of equine anatomy. (I suggest the muzzle for its unique combination of baby softness and manual dexterity.)

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5. When all else fails, ride the kitty coattails and post video of horses interacting with cats.

Cats rule the Internet. It’s time for a horse-tile takeover!

Go riding!

Carley Sparks covers show jumping and related ridiculousness at getmyfix.org.

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