5 Ways No Horse Wants to Be Remembered
Portraits, love songs, video montages—there are many ways to commemorate a special horse in your life. These are not among them.
5. Giant tattoos. For the record, I like tattoos. I even have one. It’s terrible and a lifelong reminder of every poor decision I’ve ever made. But that’s not the case for everyone. Some people have fine works of art permanently inked on their bodies. Others have these.
Conclusion: Just say neigh to giant horse tattoos. Because nipples.
4. Tack keepsakes. This is a thing and watching it might scar you a little. So if you’re a sensitive flower, skip to the next point where I relive a humiliating childhood anecdote for your amusement. The rest of you, take note: No matter what your “friends” say or how much you want to, you can’t pull off a bit/headdress combo. It’s a fact. Also, it embarrasses your horse. (And family.)
Video credit: TLC
3. Equine perfume. Science tells us that smell can trigger memories, influence mood, and even affect performance. I like to think that explains why, as a child, I would sleep in the same sweater I wore to the barn—on purpose. Why my mom let that happen is less easily understood. Regardless, smelling like your horse is not a good way to pay tribute to him. No matter how happy it makes you feel inside.
2. Hair wreaths. In the Victorian era, keepsakes made from hair were a common way to commemorate the life of a loved one. It’s the origin of modern horsehair jewelry. And its creepy cousin: hair flowers and wreaths. It’d be less disturbing to see a collection hoof trimmings in a mason jar displayed on your mantel. Next to his urn.
1. Taxidermy. Le Vizir was one of Napolean’s most famous horses and this is how history repaid him. Some things are best left to memory.
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