11 Horsey New Year’s resolutions you know you won’t keep
These resolutions ain’t gonna happen. But it’s fun to dream…
1. I will improve my lower leg and pay homage to George Morris by riding without stirrups 10 minutes every day.
2. I will clean my bit and bridle after every use.
3. I will not run errands in public wearing the world’s most unflattering pants, (breeches), helping insure I remain single forever.
4. I will not shoot daggers of fire at people with my eyes when asked: “You have a riding lesson today? Why do you still need lessons?”
5. I will work on my spoiled-rotten horse’s manners–during a time he’s not knocking me over itching his 200-pound head on my shoulder, snatching a bite of grass, picking my pockets, rubbing his nose on my pants….
6. I will stay classy and limit my use of duct tape on tack. Or at least get fun, colored duct tape.
7. I will waste no energy being jealous of people who have regular lessons, horse trailers, trucks, dressage saddles, soft hands, legs longer than my stubs, trust funds, butts that look good in white breeches….
8. I will try to also display photos of human family members in my cube.
9. I will not longingly fondle other people’s trucks and trailers in public. At least not while they’re looking.
10. I will try sodoku, ginko biloba, or perhaps less box o’wine, in an earnest effort to improve my chances of remembering my course, my dressage test and where in the tack room I left my phone.
11. I will not be the craziest Crazy Horse Lady at the barn.
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