Lauren Nethery: 30 things I’m thankful for in November
If you’re on Facebook, you’re probably aware of, if not participating in, the “30 Days of Thankfulness” thing. Well, Lauren is here to take it to the next level. Enjoy this week’s edition!
Greetings, Horse Nation! You may recognize me from my weekly piece “Why Does My OTTB (insert quirk here)?” on Eventing Nation. However, I am here on Horse Nation to jump on the Facebook bandwagon of “30 Things I Am Thankful For In November,” to share these things with you, and to put a smile on your face despite the abysmal rain and cold that has not yet transformed into glorious, fluffy, stark white snow. What!? You think I’m crazy for wanting SNOW!? For those readers out there that jump horses, you absolutely must try jumping on snow (skis or board as you prefer). It is pretty addicting and has transformed me into a snow-loving freak. However, be forewarned: YOU are in charge of both take-off AND landing. There is not a horse to do the landing for you and this initially presents a problem, trust me! Look for one article each week detailing the seven things I am thankful for during that week and I will take this time to go ahead and GOBBLE,GOBBLE in the spirit of Thanksgiving.
1. I am immensely thankful that, for the most part, the creepy crawlies that live in barns cannot fly. Just imagine climbing up into the hay loft or flipping over a water tank and having a giant, poisonous, hell-bent-on-world-domination spider or million-legged creature hurtling itself at your face on giant, razor-blade wings. OK, so this many be a little fantastical but seriously, what if those things COULD fly!?
2. I am thankful that, unlike our canine companions, horses don’t expect to be included in the Thanksgiving feast festivities (with the exception of a warm bran mash for dinner that night with a little sweet potato casserole mixed in). Each year I dread the trip to the grocery store that invariable results in TWO carts full of ingredients and I have no doubts that my dearest equine compadres would certainly eat me out of house and home…plus, their table manners would likely be atrocious (no one wants manure spicing their peas) and all of the kids would want to see them do their best party tricks…like this:
3. I am thankful my horses have run-ins to stand in (in their medium weight blankets complete with neck rugs) during these dreary November days…not only are they comfortable, but they are also dry and clean when I finally muster the motivation to ride them.
4. I am thankful for ear muffs that attach to my helmet harness. Without these, I would look awfully strange walking around with holes in the sides of my head where my ears, which surely would have frozen off, used to be. See these on ebay (similar to what I use but mine are triangular and have snaps instead of Velcro): http://www.ebay.com/itm/NEW-Real-Sheepskin-Riding-Helmet-Earmuffs-WARM-Natural-/200684691103
5. I am thankful for Girl Scout Cookie scented/flavored Lip Balm that keeps both my nose and my lips from looking like they have been assaulted with a cheese grater. Hopefully these are available at your local Kroger or Walmart, but they can also be purchased here: www.lipsmacker.com/productListing.php?id=52
6. I am thankful for SNOW! Did I mention how much I like snow? Do you think I’m crazy for liking glorious, wonderful, delightful snow? Let me highlight a few of the benefits of snow for EVERYONE, even the cold-weather haters out there:
- If there is snow, there is no mud because it’s frozen! We all hate mud and even if you’re in one of those whacky middle-America places where it snows when it’s 31 degrees and it’s still sort of muddy, just find a small snow drift and shuffle your feet a few times…presto, mud will be frozen right off your boots! Try it, I swear it works!
- If, despite your best efforts and acrobatic maneuvers, you do fall off while hacking Geronimo who is supposed to be on winter “break” (which he interprets as a challenge to break YOU) , snow offers a fluffy, pillow-y, powdery cushion upon which you get to land. Thanks, snow!
- If you live in a particularly snowy area, you have two options: firstly, if the snow is up above your horses knees, resistance training similar to what those expensive Aquatred sessions offer is free! Secondly, you can become proficient at the famous sport of Skijoring, which was popular enough to be included as a demonstration sport in the 1928 Winter Olympics. Visit http://www.nasja.com/ to learn more about the sport and how to participate!
7. I am thankful for Black Friday Sales, especially those that start at midnight (this year, some are even starting at 6pm on THURSDAY!) Not only do I never have time to shop, much less during daylight hours but finally, for one day of the year (well, not including New Year’s Eve), mainstream society embraces the hours between dusk and dawn for the magic productivity potential that they hold. Entries can be filled out, dressage tests can be memorized, packing lists can be itemized, and billing can be done, and hours of 90s sitcoms can be half-listened to while typing journalism pieces for obscure equine-theme blog sites. Sleep is for the old and weak. Long live the night owls and their productivity!
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