So, This Horse Walks into a Bar: A collection of horse jokes

I heard someone recite an off-color horse joke last night, which I won’t repeat here, but it made me realize that I don’t know any good (or, as the case may be, terrible) horse jokes myself. So I decided to do some research.

Here are some of the best (worst?) horse jokes I found:

What do you feed a race horse?

Fast food!

What animal has more “hands” than feet?

A horse!

Why can’t horses dance?

Because they have two left feet!

How do jockeys decide which horses are the favorites?

They take a gallop poll!

Why did the man name his horse Flattery?

Because it got him nowhere.

Why was the racehorse named Bad News?

Because Bad News travels fast!

Where do horses stay in a hotel?

In the bridle suite!

Why did the pony have to gargle?

Because it was a little horse!

When do vampires like horse racing?

When it’s neck and neck!

What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?

Some poor horse is walking around in his socks!

Where do you take a sick horse?

To the Horspital!

What do you call the horse that lives next door?

A neighbor!

And, of course…

What did the bartender say to the horse?

Why the long face?

Know a good, clean horse joke? Leave it in the comments section below.

Photo credit: Morgane Schmidt

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