The Secret Life of McKenna & Dorito: You know you’re a horseperson when…
Teen sensation McKenna Oxenden and her buddy Jackson contemplate what it means to be an equestrian during a field trip to The Big Apple.
On Tuesday I took an adventure to New York City with my photography class. You’ve heard me mention my friend Jackson several times but you may remember her from blackmailing me with these pictures. So of course we are glued at the hip laughing, singing, dancing and other lunatic things. Anyway, while walking in New York we found ourselves with a lot of “You know you’re a horseperson when…” quips, so without further ado, I present to you: “True Life: I am a horseback rider”
REAL LIFE SITUATIONS
-You walk into public places decked out in your spandex, half chaps and spurs and you feel like you should be a walking PSA announcement. “Attention, attention people of Wal-mart. Yes, people do actually ride horses. And yes, people wear spears, no those are not in movies. I know my butt looks good in these pants but unless you are an attractive young male keep a move on. Thank you, this concludes this PSA.”
-You cluck to people who are in your way.
-“What is that?!” *person points to your wrist*
“Oh this? It’s a bracelet.”
“Yeah, but why does it say Dorito on it?”
“Oh, it’s my horse’s name!”
*strange look given*
-“Does your belt really say Dorito Cooler Ranch.”
*super strange look*
“It’s my horse’s name. I’m not professing my love for Doritos, chillax.”
*a little less strange look*
-Dang. That looks like it’s be AWESOME to jump. *Huge @$$ log on the side of the road, maybe a pile of bricks, anything interesting actually*
-You teach your dog, cat, in Wylie’s case bunny… to jump things. And trot. And make it go on a circle like lunging.
IN NEW YORK
-“OH MY GOSHHH LOOK AT THE CARRIAGE PONIES!!!!”
***think to yourself*** “Why do I want to pay $50 for a carriage ride? BECAUSE THE PONIES ARE PRETTY!! And it’s Central Park *sigh* how romantic? Wait, I’m with Jackson. THE PONIES ARE PRETTY!
-You walk off the bus and you are instantly hit with the sweet smell of horses but you’re rudely interrupted by a chorus of “EWWW, WHAT STINKS?!”
-You walk into the M&M store in Times Square, look your friend in the eye, race up stairs, spy the chambers of the colored M&M’s, squeal excitedly, and race to fill up your bag with your respective eventing colors.
Next time I’ll be reporting to you live from KENTUCKY! You can find me by finding the three other hooligans and two moms I’ll be with. Chances are we’ll all be in zoo costumes. Don’t be alarmed if you hear a strange noise–I guarantee it’s Jackson.
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