How many of the unfortunate incidents on Katy Groesbeck’s list have happened to you?
Hopefully none of these things have happened to you. But more than likely, if you’re a horse person of any kind, you know all-too-well that awful moment when….
….you notice that your favorite pair of breeches has a hole in them. At the crotch. And you’ve been wearing them all day.
….you’re fully geared up, strapped on, and ready to show. And you have to pee. NOW.
….you realize that crazy spirited horse galloping across the show grounds is yours.
… you get bucked off the mounting block.
…you don’t hurt yourself jumping over the jumps, just moving them around the arena.
….you trip over your own spurs. (Katy isn’t the most graceful of girls, clearly.)
….you start to reconsider the grande margarita and chile relleno you had for dinner the night before an 8 a.m. show time. Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean.
….you could feed a small pony with the hay in the bottom of your purse.
….your trainer suggests finding a new hobby. Soon.
….you realize what you forgot to pack. And it was the horse. (True story, sadly.)
…. ‘A: enter working trot. X: halt salute.’….. Now what?
….the clippers break halfway through the job.
….the clippers work and you have to do the whole damn horse. (Clipping ≠Katy’s favorite thing.)
(As an aside: every time I clip a horse, I have a secret phobia of cutting off my own ponytail. It didn’t work for Brittany Spears, it’s not gonna work me.)
…..you discover that although QuikBraid is a good fix for when you can’t find your hairnet, it also acts like rubber cement when combined with sweat. Major ouch.
….(speaking of “ouch”) you get the vet bill.
…you get the feed bill.
….you get the trainer’s bill.
….you realize that even though you buy your groceries at the Dollar Store and haven’t had a new “set of shoes” for yourself in two years, you’re probably not going to change your habits anytime soon!
(As another aside: the first time I typed that, it accidentally read, “you’re probably not going to change your hobbits anytime soon.” Please change your hobbits frequently.)