Your Turn: My horse, the nudist

Megan Kaiser’s horse likes to get naked. Sometimes, he wiggles out of his clothes like Houdini. Other times, he shreds his clothes and drags them through the mud. Megan is not OK with either method.

From Megan:

There are two ways it can go when your horse is discovered naked in the pasture.

The first results in the following conversation:

Me: What did you do to your blanket? How is that even physically possible? All the straps are still done up. Who are you Houdini? Seriously, who helped you with this? It was that little pony wasn’t it? He never liked me. I see the way he looks at me. Ponies.

I turn to the pony: Hey pony, next time can you at least drape it over the fence instead of leaving it in the mud? I know you had a hand in this.  He’s not smart enough to do this on his own.

Turning back to my horse: You know I love you, but you had to have help with this. Let’s go, we’ve got to get a move on if I am going to get this washed and clean the washer out before the husband gets home. Oh, and thank you for not ripping it up.

Then there are the times where based on the state of what is left of the blanket you are amazed the animal is standing, let alone alive, and you are thankful you didn’t see whatever it was that happened when it was happening.

I found blanket destruction occurs most often under one or more of the following circumstances:

  • It is a new blanket–or freshly laundered.
  • The day after you have placed a catalogue order (now you have to pay shipping twice!)
  • The day after you almost bought a backup on “Tack of the Day.”
  • When there is not nearly enough time for him to get into trouble–just turned out, I just saw him prim and proper moments earlier, etc.
  • He is alone and a pasture with absolutely nothing to rip it on.

These types of blanket mishaps leave you with a bag of assorted blanket pieces in your truck or garage or somewhere. You know you have one –you know you do. You can’t bear to toss that buckle–it’s still good. What if he doesn’t actually completely trash the blanket next time? What if it’s just a surcingle? I must save it. I don’t know about you, but I have never seen that happen. It is always the entire blanket, never just an isolated replaceable piece.

When I got a text from the barn owner a couple months ago that he had totally trashed his sheet I shouldn’t have asked her to save it so I can cut off the hardware. I should have just asked, “how many pieces this time?

Top photo: HN

Bottom photos: Megan Kaiser

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