HN Contributor Megan Kaiser discovers she may have much more in common with her golf-obsessed husband than she previously imagined.
My husband will get up at five to golf. He will spend hours on end at the course. He will talk with his friends about golf. A lot of time is spent cleaning his clubs, balls, and shoes. There is also the time spent researching those clubs, balls, and shoes. And you would be surprised how much golf is on TV. There are entire channels dedicated to it. Golf, yes golf: trying your best to get a little ball in a little hole using a variety of sticks. I’ve tried it a couple times, but all I can think of is how much fun it would be to ride across those manicured fields. The sand traps and water hazards could so easily be converted to ditches, drops, and water complexes. A couple of well-placed portables on each fairway and it would be heaven.
Are you really getting up at five to go golf? How long do you think you’ll be there? Are you really recapping your round hole by hole with the guys you just golfed with? How dirty can clubs get, it’s not like you are using them to clean stalls? Is there enough stuff out there to fill multiple golf magazines and catalogues? And seriously, golf on TV?
But then I realize I’ve gotten up at five (or earlier) so many times to ride/feed/walk/soak. I’ve talked about my ride with anyone who will even pretend to listen (isn’t that why barns have dogs and cats?) There is always something to clean – a nicely oiled saddle is a beautiful thing and I really should give my brushes a good wash. It’s such a happy day when that SmartPak catalogue arrives – now I’ve got plans for the evening, yeah! And if they only had more than the occasional equine sport on TV: I’d be there shushing everyone around. Until then I will watch whatever relevant internet video I can find (go helmet cams!).
So, does that mean if he were to walk a cross country course, or ever get near a cross country course, he would be thinking that with a bit of work it would make a nice par four? How easy it would be to give it a good mowing, dig a small hole, find a flag, and play a round or two.
Fortunately neither one of use has any desire to cross over into the other world. It works to have two completely different interests that are somewhat parallel. We can appreciate each other’s outlet/therapy/social time. It balances us out. He’s never going to be excited about a new set of boots as I am, but then again how excited do get over his new pitching wedge? We both fake it, only so the other will fake it when we get a new toy.
This summer the worlds collided in a small way: he did come to find my pastime came in handy with his pastime. His shoes were looking horrible, so he mentioned he needed to do some research to find something to clean and condition them. Silly man – don’t you realize I have enough leather cleaning and conditioning products to fill your entire golf bag. What do you think I’m doing when after the kids have gone to bed I get my glass of wine, spread that towel on the family room floor, and am messing around with assorted pieces of leather? He now has his very own container of Horseman’s One-step and tells his friends all about it.