True Confessions: ‘I was having a great honeymoon… until I started missing my horse’

When newlywed bliss wore off and “the itch” started taking hold, Amanda Ronan dragged her new hubby to a trail-riding stable–hilarity ensues.  From Amanda:

The day before most weddings, brides often agonize over the smallest of details. Flowers need to be extra fresh, dresses need to be extra starched and clean, etcetera, etcetera…I’m sorry I just dozed off.

The thing is, that the day before MY wedding I was at a horse show… getting a wicked sunburn.

Long story short, my fiance still married me and then whisked me away for a fabulous eight day honeymoon in Alaska. We did any number of touristy things, including an amazing boat tour where we we spotted a baby humpback whale and its mother, a dusty, not so amazing bus tour of Denali where we vaguely saw a blurry backside of a Grizzly bear, and a helicopter tour where we watched a few moose grazing in the distance.

But by day seven, I got the itch. You know what I’m talking about… the horse rider without a horse to ride itch. So we managed to locate a local “Rent-a-Horse” type stable for a trail ride. I sauntered up to the office with confidence and said exactly the wrong thing: “Sure, I ride horses. I’m a working student at a local jumper barn.”

They gave me the reins of a 4-year-old Percheron/Quarter Horse cross named Kachina. I’d like to say I enjoyed the views, the wildlife, the peaceful tranquility of an Alaskan trail ride, but I can’t. Kachina and me… we had some problems. Mainly the problem was Kachina had no steering control, no brakes, and a very touchy accelerator button. While all my fellow trail riders, including my husband, sauntered on at a leisurely walk, I crisscrossed (literally we were zigzagging across the trail at a 45 degree angle about every 30 seconds) the Alaskan countryside at a semi-uncontrollable “tranter.” You know… that really uncomfortable place between a trot and a canter.

About two hours in to the ride, and after realizing that I had just paid this stable to train their horse, I finally convinced Kachina to walk and rejoin the group. My husband smiled across at me from his very huge gelding named Sticks. “How are you doing?” he asked.

“Good now,” I answered. And it was good, really. Because at the end of the day I had wanted to ride a horse. Not sit on a horse and enjoy the scenery, ride a horse. So thank you, Miss Kachina, for the ride.

Husband Josh & Sticks

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