6 Reasons ‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’ Would Have Been Better If Belly Were A Horse Girl
I watched it. I regret nothing.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably realized by now just how much of a chokehold The Summer I Turned Pretty has on society. I was lured into watching the show by my 17-year-old daughter, who was herself baited in by TikTok. In the end, I think I enjoyed it more than she did… mostly because it’s a total homage to every millennial young adult TV show and rom-com ever made.
My daughter thinks her generation invented everything, so I’ll just keep Dawson’s Creek, One Tree Hill, Gilmore Girls and Leonardo DiCaprio in his prime our little secret.
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But after watching the entire TSITP series, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the entire plot would have been so much simpler if Belly was a horse girl. Let me give you a few examples.
1. Belly’s entire summer wouldn’t be wasted on boys.
If Belly were a horse girl, she wouldn’t have the ample free time required to spiral into multiple existential crises about loving two brothers. The entire plot hinges on the fact that these three people do absolutely nothing between June and August except swim, look flawless, and fall in love.
Horse girls don’t have time for that.
2. Belly wouldn’t be showing up to beach parties in a tube top on a Friday night.
She’d be bleary-eyed and hangry, braiding her horse’s mane before collapsing on an air mattress next to her mom in the trailer, where she’d get exactly three hours of sleep before the 5 a.m. alarm goes off. Then she’d have to rebraid Peaches’ mane because he decided to roll. Again.
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3. Belly would never quit a sport because of a mysterious “knee injury.”
Okay, this plot point really bothered me. At the beginning of Season 3, Belly tells Conrad she quit volleyball because of a knee injury.
In earlier seasons, volleyball was a huge part of her story arc. In Season 1, Conrad infamously replaced Jeremiah in a charity game because Jerry sucked and Belly really wanted to win. In Season 2, most of her personal growth was tied to reclaiming herself through the sport. And then in Season 3, it’s just… over?
That would never happen if she were a horse girl. Horse girls ride with broken bones, bleeding out of their eyes, and only the faintest sense of self-preservation. She wouldn’t be planning some doomed wedding! She’d still be too busy competing.
4. Jeremiah would have been kicked out of the running in Season 2 for not knowing how to change a flat tire.
Horse girls have standards. Not only did this clown have no idea how to change a flat tire, he also threw a fit and somehow made it Belly’s fault. Until his Mary Sue moment in season three when he inexplicably became a chef, his biggest accomplishment was earning a Bachelor’s degree in Beerology.
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5. Meanwhile, Conrad won all of Season 3.
Conrad, the one studying to be a doctor at Stanford, spent his summer doing home repairs, running errands for Belly, and cooking her dinner every night, unprompted.
Dirt bomb muffins and coffee prepped every morning. Complete and balanced meals waiting in the fridge every night. He just decided to fix the roof, and the sprinkler system, and the light in the dining room because it needed to be done?!? Who is this man? Jenny Han really thought this was a fair matchup?
If Belly were a horse girl, she’d have thousands of things around the barn for Conrad to fix up. She’d live for that post-ride, home-cooked meal. Come on, girl.
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6. If Belly were a horse girl, the real love story would have been with a six-year-old, 16.3hh gelding with perfect conformation who was a “free, unrideable rescue” before Belly met him.
And honestly? Wouldn’t we all rather have watched that show?
Go riding.
Amanda Uechi Ronan is an author, equestrian, wannabe race car driver, and loyal member of Team Conrad. Follow her on Instagram @au_ronan.
