In the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day, here are five Irish-inspired cocktails to help fix a variety of horse related ailments.
Please remember to drink responsibly. Also remember drinking really screws up pregnant mothers and unborn babies. If you’re going to drink, make sure you don’t drive and make sure you’re not expecting!
Drink with caution and take everything you read here with a grain of salt (and forget the tequila, it’s not Cinco De Mayo).
1. Irish Coffee
Ingredients: hot coffee, Irish whiskey, sugar, topped with whipped cream.
Recommended for: nights when your horse decides to colic.
The whiskey takes the edge off so you won’t be so stressed that you give yourself a belly ache, and the coffee keeps you awake to give you the energy to walk your horse all night long.
2. Irish Car Bomb
Ingredients: Irish whiskey, coffee liqueur, Irish cream and Guinness.
Recommended for: when horse won’t load into a trailer.
We’ve all been there: when we can’t get that ONE horse into a trailer. You can try until you’re blue in the face, or you can just give up and go in the house and make yourself this cocktail and at least enjoy whatever is left of your already-miserable night. Don’t worry about drinking and driving: you won’t be going anywhere anyway if that horse has anything to say about it.
3. Nutty Irishman
Ingredients: Bailey’s Irish Cream, Frangelico and cream.
Recommended for: the day farrier comes out.
This will lessen the blow of the bill and if you also offer one to your farrier, it will lessen the blow he just received from your horse’s hind foot.
4. Irish Grasshopper
Ingredients: Irish whiskey, crème de menthe, half and half and shaved dark chocolate for garnish.
Recommended for: the Craigslist buy.
If 12 hours after your Craiglist buy the animal starts acting differently, it probably means the calming drugs are wearing off. Maybe lameness is now present, along with dangerous vices like striking, kicking, and biting. This cocktail will take the edge off of your raging nerves so you can sit back, relax, and ponder how you’re going to get yourself out of this mess.
5. Jameson Irish Whiskey
Ingredients: Jameson Irish Whiskey, straight up or over ice.
Recommended for: horse-related accidents, especially when a bone is broken, or skin is ripped off.
This shot will help you dull the pain when you’re too far away to dial 9-1-1 or too poor to go the hospital. This is actually a really, really bad idea, but it sure beats being sober.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Go riding!