‘We Don’t Have Tack For That,’ Presented by ThinLine: Etsy ‘Riding Boot’ Edition

Last week I made the mistake of running an Etsy search for riding helmets. Here’s the boot counterpart.

Etsy, for the uninitiated, is a sometimes magical, occasionally terrifying wonderland of random stuff, and a lot of it. When I ran a search for “equestrian riding boots”…

Already a bad sign.

As expected, Etsy’s definition of “equestrian riding boots” is pretty loose. First up, these WANDERLUST Riding boots. Just $285, and they’re also available in teal!

Etsy/BaliELF

Here’s something I can definitely see becoming a trend in the show ring, NOT: Brown Leather Boot Bows – Clip-on Accessories for Riding Boots ($18).

Etsy/PickleAndRaRa

These Amazing ‘Thorogood’ 1910s Ladies Knee High Lace-up Brown Leather Riding Boots ($395) went out of style in 1910 for a reason.

Etsy/snootylilcutie

Hey look, paddock boots! Leather Chelsea Chunk Heel Riding Boots ($62).

Etsy/MelissaJoyVintage

In contrast, here’s a pair of legitimate Ariat paddock boots, listed as 90s Combat Boots US 7 Roper Leather Plaid punk grunge hipster festival gypsy pastel goth light brown lacer red black lace up tan Flannel ($65). But the description is the best part (I took a screenshot directly from the page so you don’t think I’m lying):

[Insert sound of car slamming on its brakes.] “The logo on the side looks like a bio-hazard symbol.” WHAT?!?!?!?

Let’s circle back to tall boots. I’m pretty sure a horse would NOT be appreciative of being ridden in these: Boho Riding Boots ($98). Tall about keeping your heels down!

Etsy/MelissaJoyVintage

The field boot version: Tall Riding Boots ($110).

Etsy/KingArtsAndVintage

Pair these Vintage Ruggeri Italian Riding Boots ($95) with a top hat and you’ll be all set to get laughed out of any dressage arena.

Etsy/TheCuriousMoose

Instead of spurs, trendy (in the ’80s) silver conchos: 1980 vintage black leather riding boots ($65).

Etsy/FauxyFurrVintage

OK, I’m just going to stop there.

ThinLine pads can’t stop you from riding your horse in some ridiculously inappropriate boots you found on Etsy, but they WILL keep you and your horse performing at your best. ThinLine pads use non-compression technology to dissipate impact and pressure, creating a more comfortable riding experience for you and your horse.

Check out ThinLine’s complete line of shock-absorbing saddle pads and other products for horse and rider, including saddles, horse boots, hoof pads, tack and more. Be sure to follow them on Facebook and Twitter as well!

Go ThinLine, and Go Riding!