In honor of Halloween, this week’s edition of “Fantasy Ads” has been replaced by “Nightmare Ads,” i.e. if you see one of these ads on Craigslist, run for your life! By Amanda Ronan.
Seeking Post-Halloween Gig
Date: 2012-10-30, 3:12PM CDT
Reply to this post: firstname.lastname@example.org
Legendary horseman looking for a job. Experienced at galloping down gloomy lanes. Excellent pumpkin head throwing skills. Available for work immediately following All Hallows’ Eve.
Nazgûl Farrier Work
Date: 2012-10-29, 2:13AM CDT
Reply to this post: email@example.com
Farrier work available immediately. Available for all breeds but preference is given to anything black, as it is my favorite color. Former work includes long-distance riding terrorizing the hobbits of Middle-earth. Rates negotiable. Bleeding mandatory.