Wacky Wednesday Fantasy Ads: Adult amateur edition

Location: formerly of London, England

Distinguished middle-aged, non-smoking, single woman seeks employment.  My former employee referred to me as “Mary Poppins meets Mary King.”  I have degrees in Early Childhood Education, Psychology, and the Culinary Arts.  I absolutely adore children and would love to enrich the lives of yours before and after their school programs.  I keep my CPR and First Aid certifications up to date.  My love of children is only slightly greater than my love of food!  As an employee I would prepare nutritious, home-cooked meals every evening for you and your family.  I can cater to vegans and vegetarians.  And let’s not forget my horseback experience!  I competed in the upper echelon of Eventing in my younger years, but now am content to school your horses in dressage… although I do love a roaring good foxhunt!

Live-in arrangements would be preferred, so that I may cater to you and your family’s every whim.  My salary can be based on YOUR need.  My only dream is that your dreams come true.

Contact:  everybusyamateursfantasydreamcometrue@spoonfullofsorenomore.com