Comments on: Let’s Discuss: How’s this motherhood thing going to impact my riding

By: Valorie

Valorie — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 15:13:33 +0000

I have an 8 month old little girl. I also work full time and feel guilty about taking time to ride and not spending it with my daughter. But I don’t think she notices.

You do have to have a very supportive husband, which I am thankful for. Right now, he is a stay at home dad and is with my daughter all day. Mornings & evenings I take over to give him a break. But he lets me run off to ride 1 evening a week and sometimes I get a nice trail ride on the weekend.

Evenings/weekends that I don’t actually ride, I put my daughter in a pack-n-play in our yard. I bring out one of my horses to groom or bathe.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 12:25:47 +0000

Great topic! I am in that phase of my life too – Should we? Will my lower level event career be over? How long will I not be able to ride? Love reading everyone’s responses!

By: LisaB

LisaB — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 11:13:35 +0000

Well, I’m in the midst of this kid thing now. I was an avid AA in eventing here in VA competing up to prelim and such. And everyone said that kids are portable and just take them with you. It does take a concerted effort and a lot of thought in doing so. Plus, you do need a hands on SO or a babysitter so you can ride. Kids have uncanny timing to be needing you when you can’t be there.
My plan was to get a good high schooler who also rides to watch him for a couple of hours and to scale back the competing until kid was a bit older. My horse would have been fine at training level. But life takes a turn. My horse lost his eye so we are just taking life day by day and seeing what he wants to do. I think he still wants to do x-c but like at BN/N level which is fine.
Life can definitely take interesting turns! 2 years ago, I would have been packing my trailer up for Southern Pines and kicking off my season. But now, horse is at my house and I get to pet him and ride a few days a week.
I don’t sweat it though. I’m older and have had my grins and giggles so I’m ok with going on hiatus for a couple of years and starting back up again and you have to be comfortable with that. No, ‘what if’s', so to speak.

By: Georgina

Georgina — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 02:02:47 +0000

Hi Guys,
I think you will get a kick out of this blog about balancing the horse/kid life.
http://www.an-eventful-life.com.au/bloggers/358/juggle-life

By: Julie

Julie — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 01:44:56 +0000

Go for it! I have a 6-year old, a working farm with 6 horses, and I work full time. I still make time for showing. Kids are very adaptable and my son gets that the horses are a part of our life . But like another person said, don’t be disappointed if your kid doesn’t share your passion. I lease a pony for my son, which he rides about twice a month, but it (all) is worth it!

By: Katie

Katie — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 22:23:24 +0000

Victoria, thanks for writting this article. I have been married for 3years now and all I hear from friends and family is when are you having a baby? Will you sell your horse? Its amazing how the second after wedding bells people expect a baby! But someday I would like children and this issue has always been on my mind! Iv appreciated the stories, they gives me hope that it possible!

By: Robin Holt

Robin Holt — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 21:40:12 +0000

It is harder to find the time to ride, post baby….but you appreciate that time more for it’s scarceness. I had a daughter 12 years ago and also had dreams of sharing time together in the saddle. We do ride together occasionally, but more and more my lovely girl is the rider and I am the observer…and it does not bother me at all. She is an amazingly accomplished and competitive dressage rider. I enjoy the time at the barn watching her lessons and just hanging out with the horses. Show weekends are a fun family activity including my husband who is an enthusiastic supporter of both our riding.
Having a child does change things, but having this great person in my life has been the best thing to happen to me besides meeting and marrying my husband. I’m lucky Grace shares my love of horses and really ALL animals. If she did not ride I’d probably have more time and money for dressage myself….but I can’t imagine not having the joy of watching my budding equestrian.
Do it!Have the kiddo, you’ll figure everything out along the way.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 20:25:07 +0000

You’ll need three things…a cooperative, well-trained husband, a local “Mothers Day Out” program and a deaf ear to all naysayers. The husband is crucial. We live in a town with no relatives so my husband really was my only choice other than an expensive babysitter. Thank God I was blessed with a keeper of a husband that knows Saturdays…are Horse Days! The “Mother’s Day Out” program will also give you Tuesdays and Thursdays. My daughter goes from 9 am to 2 pm. Usually MDO starts at 6 months old…which is how long it took me to…ahem…recover after giving birth anyway. Last but not least…a deaf ear to naysayers. There will be no end to people telling what you can and can not do with your baby around horses…especially anyone who isn’t a horse person themselves. I’ve taken my kid in to arenas and let her play in the sand with toys while I rode since she was about a year old. Some people shudder with fear that she will be killed by the horse. Could it happen…yes. Has it happened…no. As for the pony issue…I’m not going there. I have a 19 year old horse that I’ve owned for 17 years and that will be her first horse. She’ll have to work for and earn her second one.

By: Victoria

Victoria — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 18:51:14 +0000

Awesome feedback! I love hearing all of the stories of mom’s that make it work. I really think that riding teaches children the meaning of hard work and dedication and I can’t wait to pass that on to my future kids. Hopefully I will be able to balance work and baby, but as shannon said, if you love it, you will make it work!!

By: Indi

Indi — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 17:07:58 +0000

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but… You can do it as long as your partner is will to take part in the child rearing. My horses sat for a couple of years because my hubby was NOT a help with our daughter. Also, don’t count on your child being as horse crazy as you are/were. I’ve loved horses since before I could walk, I fully expected my daughter to as well. Yeah, not so much. Some how I managed to get a very girly girl who is not at all interested in horses,

By: Shannon

Shannon — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 16:39:34 +0000

My mom worked 2-3 jobs when I was a kid so that she, my 2 siblings and myself could all ride when I was growing up. I’m really not sure how she manage to work 24/7, keep up with barn chores (we had 4 horses at home), and get us to lessons, shows and pony club every weekend.
My brother now runs an eventing stable with 30+ horses and rides for a living. He is able to give back to our mom so that she can ride and compete in style without having to work multiple jobs! He also has 2 children (10 and 6) that are involved in pony club and have begun taking lessons on a pony they share, but it isn’t forced upon them. They enjoy doing barn chores just like we did growing up.
I personally returned to riding three years ago after being away from it for a few years (darn education). Last summer, my husband and I began to discuss the timing of children, but after a fabulous season on a wonderful mare (who is of course for sale) I also really wanted to buy the horse. I was given the option – Baby OR Horse. I am now due in June, and it is absolutely KILLING me that I am missing out on all the beautiful hacking weather this spring. I just keep thinking how great it will be in a few years when I can hack with my kids, and create the amazing memories like I have of riding with my mom. I intend to jump right back into riding after the baby comes, the mare I love is still available and I’ll be scrapping pennies together to continue doing something that makes me happy.
When you have any doubts, remember – When you truly love something, you can make it work.

By: Mo

Mo — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 16:39:02 +0000

Kids are pretty portable. When mine was little, I’d bundle her up and put her play pen near where I was riding. My husband took her with him while he’d shoe horses. As she got bigger and a bit more mobile, he’d have to pick and choose where he’d take her and at times tie her to the bumper to keep her out of the way. (no, she is not in therapy).

Having a husband who knows when you need some saddle time and is willing to wrangle the child is the biggest advantage (even if it’s a discussion over just WHO gets to escape)!

I started the pony hunt for my daughter before she was a year old, thinking it would take forever to find a GOOD pony. My luck, we found one immediately. He’s not the prettiest pony in the world, but Bullseye has a heart of gold.

My daughter is now 8 and has outgrown Bullseye. She recently informed me that she will SHARE my horse with me. So, guess who’s husband bought her a new project pony for Christmas?

By: Michelle

Michelle — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 16:32:53 +0000

I have a daughter who will be 3 next month and giving up my horse was NOT an option! I had a hard high risk pregnancy so I stopped riding in the beginning of my 4th month but soon after I had her, got right back on. Now, I take her in the ring so she can experience the feel. Still have some training to do with my horse before I trust taking her out on rides. But I do plan on getting her a pony when she turns 3!! Hope that helps!

By: KH rich

KH rich — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 16:17:29 +0000

I’ve done it twice, so I think you can do it! I rode (not jumped or competed) until I was about 5 months along, with my OBs permission. And then I took the opportunity during the rest of my pregnancy to have my trainer work with and compete my horse while I still participated in hauling to shows, being a groom, and actively learning from the ground. After my children were born, it took some maneuvering on my part with help from a husband and babysitters to get back on as regularly as I could while the kids were babies. Sometimes I had to be obstinant and pretty insistent in convincing others that I deserved my “break” and time at the barn (and exercise), knowing that it all made me a better mother, wife and frankly, just a tolerable human being. As they got older, they got dragged with me, and became good little barn buddies. Now my 11 year old rides, and it’s something we do together. And being able to retire my 15 year old TB into her hands will be one of the joys of my life! I may have sacrificed certain parts of myself for motherhood, but I kept what was most important to me intact and it’s made me a much, much better mother than I would have been if I’d been the martyr others wanted me to be. And the extra bonus: I get to display my passion and hard work to my children, and pass on some of the benefits of my work (my bombproof TB) to them. Utterly worth it.

By: Katy

Katy — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 16:10:37 +0000

I’m pregnant with our first and I’m already on the lookout for a pony for our daughter! Thankfully we have a pasture and barn on our property so I won’t have to do too much bargaining, but I would absolutely love for the whole family to ride together.

By: wylie

wylie — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 16:02:50 +0000

I don’t have any advice to offer with regard to balancing kids with horses (balancing horses with ANYTHING is NOT my forte), but for what it’s worth, I hear that having a baby does something to the angle of your pelvis that makes it easier to sit the trot. That’s a bonus, right?